Deep down in my heart and soul..

2012-01-30T23:16:00.000+08:00

If i could be in many places at one time... How great would that be? But God only gave us 24 hours. Thus i have to use them wisely, and not squander them away.

Sigh... Thou is the one who said so, yet thou isn't doing so. how is it that i have nearly 10 readings to complete this week? I don't like this feeling of lagging behind schedule...

You cross the gap..
The great divide..
took me from where i was..
and led me on to where i should be..
Thus i say..
dance i lift into Your hands..
them i lift into Your hands..
work i lift into Your hands..
Lord, help me through..

2012-01-26T10:46:00.001+08:00

cool photo right! Found this randomly as i was in school with a 2 hour break between my lessons. haha. Thank God for such a great day! Somehow getting used to uni life was way easier than getting used to JC life. Travelling time isn't that long, though i have not really made any real new close friends, but i'm glad for university! I'm guessing it's because i'm learning stuff that i love, and not that i haven't the choice. =D

Fight on! readings may be piling up like a bottomless pit, but it's fun! If you are able to understand what you are reading..

CNY has been interesting. Didn't really go visiting last year because of my grandpa, and besides, i only went to 1 house each for both my mom and my dad's side this year. All the relatives just gathered at one place. Funny though, i started a conversation with one of the uncles, which got me to realise that the past assumptions that i have nothing to talk about with my relatives is false. Well, true that i'm not close to many of my external family members, but talking to the elderly folks on their lifestyle in the past opened my eyes much.

Ok, i admit, i had to "interview" someone older than 50yrs on their lifestyle in Singapore for one of my modules, but hey, learning how they actually had to go a Japanese school, their poor lifestyles, or even an encounter with Japanese troops themselves is WOAH.... we take for granted, sometimes, the peace and prosperity we have currently.. dont we? =)

2012-01-21T23:17:00.001+08:00

I'm 20!! And i'm gonna love every bit of it! Last few years i spent my birthday quite differently. It isn't the part where it's like primary school narrative stories that goes "Everyone forgetting it's my birthday, but they ended up surprising me" and all, but it's different every year. For one, i'm not sick!

I guess, most importantly, i got to spend it with special people that holds much place in my heart. With Sophia and the precious ppt that they put up for me.. and even spending it having reunion dinner with my relatives, part of celebrating my birthday too.. weird to have so many people singing "happy birthday" to me when usually it's just the 4 of us in my family, but a good weird.. lol!

Birthday celebrations post will be up soon i guess, cus somehow... my birthday celebrations is like a period.. haha!

There was one thing that stuck in my head the entire time though. It's new revelation of Matthew 14:28-29... Mark nor John's gospel mentioned Peter in Jesus's walking on water, but I came to a new understanding.

Jesus said,"come", and Peter went.

Why would Jesus say "come" when Peter requested it, and from the text in verse 24, the waters weren't exactly still. Won't it make you feel uncomfortable? because somehow deep in your mind you'll be thinking it's too dangerous? Yet Jesus said "come". Why?

My answer would be found in the previous sentence when Jesus told the people in the crew "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." True he's assuring them that He's not a ghost, but at the same time, it shows His power over the seas, that even through treacherous waters He's in control. That "Come", to me, seems more like "come! It'll be alright. Trust Me. Come." If i were Peter, in that point in time, i'll feel uncomfortable. unpredictable winds that threaten to sink me, waves that may just cover me within minutes, not a comfortable thought. Somehow.. God is found outside of our comfort zones, for it is when we are out of control and out of our comfort zone, can He be in control and reign. Would you choose to stay in your comfort zone?

I know my answer, what about yours?

Trust and Obey..
Obedience begets personal revival...
help us to choose You...

2012-01-20T23:28:00.001+08:00

So i went to NTU today with YanLi to visit HuiKeng.. and turns out they wanted to celebrate my birthday! lol.. and they just had to say it...

Yep, spending my last few minutes as a 19year old.. blogging! It's not anything special or anything wild, but yea, somehow, it felt good. Actually, i even felt like counting down to my 20th birthday! though i've got a nagging feeling that my readings are piling up!

I'm wondering now, why am i blogging when i don't really have much to say? It's as though my mind's blank. hmm...

2012-01-16T21:49:00.002+08:00

It's a funny thing, trust. Just the other day my dad was driving me to dance practice during the peak hour. He didn't take the usual route to school, but he went on a route that seemed to be leading away from school. I didn't question why, i just kept wondering why he chose to go down this road. Eventhough i wanted to question him if he was going the wrong way, i believed that he would send me to school eventually. off course it didn't help that i was already late and somehow he was going further and further away from our destination. still i kept quiet.

It was only when he somehow ended up at clementi road that i realised my dad only took a different route that i did not know of. He didn't tell me anything, that he's going by a completely different route, he just brought me.

Isn't that sometimes how God is like with us? I may not be able to understand what i'm going through, and perhaps God is keeping quiet, but He'll never harm us, and He knows where He's taking us.

another humanly aspect of trust.. it hurts when one doesn't trust you enough and misunderstands.. R.O.P.B.

never like this before..
alone..
only You..

2012-01-11T14:26:00.000+08:00

Reading alot nowadays.. just not the readings i'm suppose to read for my modules. hehe! just finished my reflections on one of my module called "Popular Culture in Singapore". Funny how i took so long to think of an answer to a reflection question that in the end i gave up and slept. question was "What is one aspect of Singapore's cultural and social history that you are curious to learn about in this module?". Frankly speaking, i've no clue. Not that i'm not proud of my country's past, it's just that, somehow i feel most of the "culture" Singapore has is borrowed. Off course many other country, even Japan has borrowed culture too. It's just that there's nothing in Singapore, i feel, is indigenous.

closer...
deeper...
never to let go..

2012-01-07T23:13:00.000+08:00

Despite being in a situation that could have caused us to act or feel otherwise, we choose to let go and enjoy! That how Yvonne and I spent our Wednesday together at the airport! lol..

Initially wanted to send the Jiang family off before their flight departs at 5.50pm, but there were many details which we forgot, like which terminal they would be at, and a crucial one, the Jaing family weren't informed that there were people sending them off. Which meant that they could have gone straight into the departure hall without waiting for anyone.. =S that happened... haha

Yvonne and i saw did saw the family though, through a glass panel that allowed visitors to look into the departure hall.. haha and we waved bye at the plane they were in! (at least i think that was the plane.. hehe!)

It was fun still! =D, and we had a scrumptious meal after that at old Changi Road! =)

Circumstances may influence our choices, but ultimately, the choice is still ours to make.

the topic of going overseas is floating across my mind recently, especially since some of my friends preferred to stay in Singapore than to go overseas to study. Certainly mindset is one thing, another is the people. something made me think a little while being at my cousin's "man yue" (chinese) today. my other uncle was telling us how he decided to go overseas again, it somehow we were discussing if going overseas by tour or on your own is better. we brought up the issue of having a whole bunch of friends to go along, yet my uncle said that he preferred to just be with his wife alone, not because he didn't like having friends around, but too many opinions.

Too many opinions... hmm.. that is true isn't it? Many a times we longed for all our friends to be with us doing something, but i came to realised that too many people sharing their opinions won't make matters easier, it may even sour relationships... Ephesians 4:3 "make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."

something to think about... =)

wanting peace isn't enough right?
You called us to be peace-makers too..
Thank You for that lesson..

2012-01-03T23:01:00.001+08:00

Detective stories have always intrigued me. Sherlock Holmes, Nancy Drew, Detective Academy (anime), and others were enjoyable both to try and solve the mystery and at the same time marvel at the genius they are. There is, however, one category of mystery i hate terribly - Murder, though usually it's always about the mystery of murders. the insanity of the murderer, or even their lack of human consciousness have shuddered me to my bones.

A comment from a recently watched anime hit me. Not really the exact words but quoting the person, "Crazy thing is, that's how the world is like." the anime featured mainly 2 girls fighting over a same guy. Well the guy slept with girl A when his girlfriend was girl B.. it got so complicated i was just.. whhattt... but bottom line is.. he got girl A pregnant, broke up with girl A to really just be with girl B. Girl A couldn't take it and stabbed him to death. When girl B saw him dead, she chopped off his head and confronted girl A. Girl B hacked girl A, cut opened girl A's womb, declared she was lying abt being pregnant and went off with the guy's head.. "Crazy thing is, that's how the world is like."...

Can you accept that? that the world is like that?

I won't accept it. I'm not denying the fact that in the newspaper there are daily reportings of rape, murder, inhumane things. But i refused to accept that, that's all the world is. i believe God created us to love, we were made with love, and to love. the thing is, we have freedom of choice. God never chose us to murder, we ourselves chose it. Though choice can be influenced by the things around us, choice is still a choice.

i am not a judge to say those psychotic people deserves death. I'm only saying that it's really real. My fight isn't up against these people, it's the root. The devil. The devil is the one who plays and plants lies into their heads, who wants to see their destruction. John 10:10, "the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full".

the greatest comfort i got, was that God has won the victory through Christ Jesus. we only need to claim it. =)

P.S. Never really intended to type so much.. but had been coming home late recently, late nights walking alone through the road was scary cus i got paranoid from all the stuff i watched, even WuXia at YouFu's house on Monday.. was inspired to type this as i read the bible..

the power of Your love..
thank You...

2012-01-01T23:41:00.000+08:00

What is your dream? What is your wish for the year 2012? We see people creating new year resolutions, yet throughout the entire year, they forget about it or only managed to accomplish one of the few resolutions that one makes. But even before we make them, i asked myself this question, "why make new year resolutions?" i pondered over this question myself, and somehow it struck me that, as much as most people including me might not be able to accomplish them, i would still make them. They are means by which i get to my goals, from which i want to improve myself, goals from which i hope to be challenged by.

Off course when i say this, it's not like i'm saying that in year 2012 i want to grow slimmer that sort of thing, but if i were to say i want to grow closer to God, won't it be vague? the "how" would be crucial to attaining such goals. and so the "how" becomes my resolution. Furthermore, it helps to keep me focused on things that truly matter. After all, the world would continuously throw themselves at you.

Jesus Himself knew His goal.. and refused to be side-tracked... i want to be like Him...

another thing i realised, if we were really focused on wanting to accomplish them, don't they teach us discipline and being single-minded?

Not knowing what lies ahead..
By faith i'll believe..
Not wishing for good times ahead..
but it's my prayer..
that I grow stronger in You,
stronger in my faith to believe
against logic and reality
for You are not limited to
my human understanding of the world.
6 christian books in 2012,
2 saved lives..
building relationships..
into Your hands, i commit everything.
You hold the crown, You are my king.

2011-12-30T15:56:00.001+08:00

Taking some time off the week to settle down from all the bustle and activities. Been with people all through the week. Thanksgiving lunch on Monday, Elissa coming to my house on Tuesday, Swimming and Jacuzzi on Wednesday with Elissa and HoP, Bugis shopping with Bynes, Elissa, Joshua, and Matthew on Thursday. Not that i don't like being with people, but sometimes i like slow down. Throughout the week been thinking about Sophia and the year ahead, but never really been able to pen anything down solid.

Dreams.. God wants us to dream big dreams. I want to have big dreams for Sophia, for myself. What dreams would be God's dream? Recently my dreams have been epic, yet so real that i felt it was reality. I must say they weren't good dreams. Dreaming about parents divorcing, war times etc.. It always takes me a while to get back to reality when i open my eyes. Off course i won't believe it, but it felt so real it's scary. Thank God i'm able to wake up each morning to greet each day with hope.

Coming year ahead.. dreams.. stability.. "If you want more than what you've seen, you'll need to be more than you've been. You'll need to give more than you've given."

Resolution.. Dedication..
Commitment..
Come what may..
You reign..

2011-12-27T14:38:00.000+08:00

My KL trip!! haha like finally right! lol!

13th December
yes! we used he GPS to get around KL! though the GPS when she directed isn't really accurate, but the map is! haha..

And yes! i drove a part of the journey too! was super happy! =D drove to our lunch area!

We had nice food!! they even had this dish called "Xiang Long Shi Ba Zhang!" haha so cute!

They sell many snacks too! and their chicken curry buns are huge!!!!!!!!!! the circumference is like a big as my palm outstretched!

After that we went to our hotel to check in! and went to a nearby BIG shopping mall! bought quite a few stuff there too! it is like JP times 2! lol!! oh the department store there had something really interesting!! Starting from the left, Owl Dove Peacock necklaces!! haha sry but i couldn't find eagle... heheh!

There was a shopping mall next to our hotel, so we went there for dinner! Happy Thai! lol!

Yea! first day was great! cus we bought a number of stuff already! =D

14th December
Breakfast buffet! looks nice right!

Went to one of the biggest shopping mall! 1 Utama! There's the new and old wing, so it's like Vivocity at one end, JP 1 and 2 at the other end, with the connection the size almost like BPP! 3 shopping centres joined together!! WOW!

Ate Sakae Sushi! and it's WOW!! REALLY REALLY NICE!!! Quality is so much nicer than in Singapore!

After shopping LOADS at 1 Utama, we went to KLCC! The tourist attraction was closed because the ticket were sold out for the day already, so we just went around the area! Saw this miniature size KLCC!

KLCC itself is also a shopping centre! went to dessert bar to have a bite and rest for a while! yummy cheesecake!

And tiramisu! They had free wifi too! so i took the liberty to go into the net! hehehe!

The twin towers!

We were quite tired from the day of shopping and walking already, plus KLCC restaurants are quite ex, so dad brought us to this place! Quite famous one, appeared in the newspaper! NICE!

Back in the hotel at around 9 plus, we went to our parents room because the TV in our room wasn't working! lol! watched an episode of "Vampire Diaries" and the movie "Ramen Girl"!

15th December
Checked out of the hotel! and started to drive home already! but mom wanted to got the newly opened Johor Premium Outlets..

Apparently it's quite big! there was a vast land that Jie commented they could have used the land to build a disneyland! hehe.. the building u just saw with the sign "Johor Premium Outlets" was just the front part of the green building in the map!

Ate here! wow the food is DELICIOUS!!!!!!!! AND HEALTHY TOO! in the menu u see the dish, and they will explain how the soup or dish will help in like ur immune system, blood circulation etc etc..

Went around the place, but my mom was more of window shopping. in the end we only bought chocolates! lol!! the rest of the journey was spent driving! haha!

It's short.. but great time at KL!!!!

2011-12-24T23:42:00.003+08:00

My jie haven given me the photos for KL trip.. but i will DEFINITELY post the photos.. haha.. KL trip was exciting!!! cus i got to drive loads... lol..

But yea, i'm tired now.. Feel like finding a soft soft bed and sleep it all away... Good thing is that after LOL camp I was really very free, i even went to the library to borrow China historical books in preparation for the upcoming semester.

Thoughts are definitely flying out through my head. It's funny how relational people are. One moment you only know the person exist, yet the other moment you got to know the person even better, and the next moment you drift away. You feel that things aren't the same, but things seem to be like how it was.
It's funny, really..

please don't take her..
let memories be made first..
let efforts be made first..
please..

2011-12-20T23:12:00.000+08:00

Woke up to a string of messages, whirl-pooling in my head. Results weren't exactly satisfactory, and it's as though my brain couldn't really think much after the word "stroke". Went to hospital with Jie and stayed there with dad till my gran's situation stablized.. was in the car as he drove through the city, felt so surreal somehow..

Post camp mood i guess.. lol.. LOL camp had different meanings to different people. i for one, was able to relax and enjoy it despite the late and eventful nights.. Thinking about Sophia and the girls most of the time.. =)

Greatest take away from the camp.. simply to re-evaluate. The goal in which i am heading to, purpose of why i am here, and the how.

Another take away.. i'm old.... really... not saying this because of my age.. P.S. i'm young because of my age!! but old.. in the sense that i am lacking connection with others. But i want to overcome this.. God be my teacher!

Nothing can be done without You
Nothing can be achieved without You
Nothing will be a success without You..
Thank You for my results..
Thank You for her health..
Thank You for Sophia..
Thank You for challenges..
Thank You... for stability..
without You, i'll be a mess already...

P.S. i promise u next post will be abt KL trip when i finally get the photos!! LOL camp photos should be in FB..

2011-12-15T23:21:00.000+08:00

Seriously, is it just me or is it that my body just can't get a proper sleep anywhere else other than my own bed? Perhaps i was too picky about the hotel's pillow and bed.. even after switching off the room conditioning i felt cold! kept sneezing.. sigh, should have brought my nose spray...

Oh, i was talking about the recent KL trip my family embarked on from 13-15 dec! I drove too! yea, driving for 2 hrs straight ain't going to do your buttock justice.. let's see, other than the fact that i nearly got into an accident with a giant-size truck (He came sooooo close to our car la! Just only cus he wanted to cut into my lane..), and in heavy rain at 100km/hr.. i think i did pretty good! =D

KL is relaxing.. We did more shopping than sightseeing off course.. which kinda explains why the minute i came home i plopped unto the sofa and slept till 9pm.. haha! Well, more details for later, when Jie has uploaded the photos.. Thank God for everything during this trip!

Looking forward to camp! but first.. let me sleep.... PLEASE......

2011-12-12T10:39:00.000+08:00

With all that being said previously, thoughts still went wild. Time was never a factor, it was choice of releasing the pain. Up till the end, the names rumored in the past remains. how much more can one take?

I've run away long enough right?
take away my self-pity
leave me vulnerable to You..

P.S. Leaving for K.L. tomorrow morning!! straight after is LOL camp!!! excited!!!!

2011-12-07T23:11:00.000+08:00

I was thinking of how to keep update of what has been going on in my life thus far, and it came back to me that there is not other best way except through pictures.. haha..

Yep, exams were officially over since last Tuesday. What a relief!!! now what's left is to wait for the final results on the 20th Dec.. =S Not really looking forward to it, but at least i got over the examination stress. It isn't really motivating to see all your other friends having fun or slacking while you still have to study, but i thank God for His strength that allowed to me to go through it all. =) HOLIDAYS!!!!!

Thursday, 1st December
was literally very tired... woke up in the morning to Jie's calling.. cus she wanted to go and have breakfast at lot 1. After that i rushed down to Nex to meet SFC!! such times are memorable as we listen to each other's lives and how we have been so far.. =)

Then i hopped unto the train to go Causeway point to meet YuSi and Amanda for lunch! haha, we went round Causeway Point about 3 times? but it felt like a gazillion times! i was quite tired already! haha, headed to Yusi's place for her to paint my nails.. haha.. missed the times we had.. =) the feeling when old friends meet again, knowing that somehow our lives have changed, yet that friendship still remains..

Went Jurong Point after that to wait for Yvonne!!! haha and i got to drive her home!!! So proud of myself!!! Yvonne's my first passenger!!! she said my driving stable!!! hehehehehe..

Last Friday, 2nd Dec, we witnessed a couple getting married! My JC bio teacher was getting married! She soooo beautiful! =D i love her dress too!! and it was such a good time catching up with my JC classmates too! come to think of it, it was the second time my classmates and i came to a christian wedding. Such a happy occasion! =)

Saturday came and it was leader's advance!! Well, considering the fact that i hadn't had much sleep the last two days, it wasn't surprising for me to want to sleep so badly in the van as we travelled to Downtown East after dinner. So many interesting stories to be told, but it's an experience i'll never quite forget. lol! imagine at least 15 people squeezed into a van, and to sleep together as a whole bunch in a same room! haha, the fact that i never shared a room with guys other than my dad.. I'll used Eunice's terms: i feel violated!!! haha!!

Couldn't sleep on Saturday, no matter how much i tried.. played with my hands.. heard snoring.. fidgeted.. i guess that took a toil on Sunday service, when WanTing had to keep poking me to keep me awake.. haha.. but in any case.. I thank God for such a team.. I wouldn't give anything to be anywhere else or in any other team..

I'm not really sure how to put it into words. As much as i couldn't take the noisiness in the "magical school bus, Sunday night after we sent most of them off, leaving 7 of us in the van travelling back to the chalet, i felt happy to be part of this family.

P.S. when we got back to the chalet, i was.. WOAH.. SOOO SPACIOUS SUDDENLY!!! =D!!!

You know, when you say time heals wounds, i guess it's true to a certain extent. It flooded my memory since monday, but no tear was shed. Either hardening, or letting go is the cause.. hmm...

Not affecting the present,
perhaps the future?
You know my past, my present, my future.
I might still run away,
but i pray God, for courage to face it.

2011-12-01T23:43:00.000+08:00

a kid was learning how to walk. as she struggled to stand on her own, she fell down. Crying for her father to instead just carry her all the way, she wanted to choose the easy way out. Aren't we like that sometimes? In our walk with God sometimes we face a similar situation, where the difficulty seemed impossible. As we cry out to God, He hears. and He does answers. it's just not the answer we wanted nor expected. Yes, God delivers, and God blesses.

But He loves us so much He wants to change us. He doesn't want us to stay the same, He wants us to grow. Like the kid, learning the skill of walking is essential for her life just the same way God wants us to grow. But we ourselves need to make the step first.

He loves us so much, He wants us to change. For the better.

Some argue, but we are supposed to be dependent on God. Yes indeed, that's true. But our relationship should be like that of a farmer. He is dependent on God, for God sends the rain and sun to grow his crops, but at the same time, he does work! We are in partnership with God, what a privilege!

take that hand that is outstretched to you...

I'm learning..
the old has gone, the new has come.
forward i move,
along step with You.

2011-11-26T22:16:00.000+08:00

feelings like an idiot.....
ocean speaks of no words..
no words, no news...
sudden waves came back..
drenched...
feelings like an idiot.....

2011-11-24T18:11:00.000+08:00

Nothing funny, just a thought came to me as my dad and i sat in the living room. He was on his panasonic laptop typing away, frequently asking me"how to spell ...? how to spell....? how to spell... ?" Initially i was like what.... Papa! I'll even admit i sounded annoyed. but then, i caught myself. Thinking back, it's not like my father intentionally wanted to act stupid.. His command of english isn't that good in the first place. He didn't finish school, but i don't despise that of him. I can go back through time for the story of my dad, but his story isn't for me to write it here.. =)

I love my daddy. Once my jie was talking about boyfriends and what qualities we usually find in guys, most of it is from our father. I didn't quite understand what she meant at that time, why would i marry someone who is like my dad? isn't that like marrying my own dad? lol.. but somehow, i get it now. Papa sets the benchmark. To a kid whose dad who goes overseas frequently because of work, yet has time to cook for the family, spend time with the family, calls from overseas almost every night when he's away.. yep.. Papa sets the benchmark..

Anyway.. two papers down! 3 more to go! not sure if it's stress, but i have to keep praying every night since last week for a peaceful sleep, and well.. SLEEP... i was up till 3+am the night before, tossing and turning, and i still can't get to sleep until i prayed. i think it's stress.... hmm.............

Out of nothing, You made me.
I was nothing,
yet i was something in Your eyes.
i may waver at times,
but You held on to me still.
thank You..

2011-11-16T15:09:00.000+08:00

onwards! For finally, the tedious and arduous theatre studies (TS) practical examination is over. What's left is just my exam theory papers that starts next Tuesday. HORRRAAYYY!!! no more TS! Taking up so much of my time for studying, making me fall sick all the time... GRRRR..

With just a few more days away before exams start, i've got to buckle up and start revising already. That feeling suspended at a distance from the ground.. Fear of falling = failing.. ahhh....

So far it's alright i guess.. my grades ain't superb, but at least it's not too bad as well. TS practical examiners shoot us down like mad in questioning the rationale for some parts of our play, total demoralized my entire group... saying it was a "flawed production".... =S

But in any case, gearing up for intensive studying! Go Go Go!!! i wanna get CAP at least 3.5!!! that means i can't fail my final paper for Japanese language le.. did terribly for last few tests and the listening test.. =X!!

2011-11-08T08:57:00.000+08:00

So many things God has given to us, and we could only receive it with open hands. Yet the circumference of our hands is only that big, and we could only grab that much. Sometimes God has to shake our hands hard so that we can learn to let go, and receive more that He has planned for us. so why do we cling so tightly to the things that aren't important?

been procrastinating alot recently... Friends say i'm stressed because my examinations are so near, yet my syllabus isn't finished yet. Furthermore, all projects are piling up. I learnt a valuable lesson. Just because i refuse to say im stress doesn't mean my body isn't. sigh..

It took all the will and determination that i had yesterday night to force myself to get up and finish my projects and practice Jap listening. That internal struggle of the mind is so real, and the physical body was in pain (my tummy wasn't feeling well, and i felt like puking).. "The spirit is willing, but the body is weak"... i prayed and prayed for strength... i can't say the pain in the mind nor body went away, but i somehow got up.. thank God..

TS project in the day had my friends throwing in ideas for multi-media. we were suppose to act a Brechtian play about wars, the controversies of the chaplain and prayer.. so they were talking about how prayer doesn't help at all etc etc. Take example the poster of the Japanese radiation. "Prayer isn't enough, pay for them", or something like that. I know they don't mean to be rude or anything, but it somehow struck me. How people would lose faith and rather be dependent on themselves....

my hands were full..
let go, You said..
but i refused..
i should have listened..
let go, and let You take control..

2011-10-29T20:16:00.001+08:00

dhasedyl cough syrup...

I have a recent habit. Owing to the fact that i a little distrustful of Western medicine since quite some time ago (went to see western doctor MANY times didn't heal.. drank chinese herbal medicine i was healed and kept at that for several months), i'll do a little research on the medicine prescribed to me. one way or another, it serves also for me to evaluate if the doctor has accurately diagnosed me.

Back to dhasedyl..... it was composed of 3 things, but one of it's composition caught my attention. Codeine. websites like drug.com said it would impair your thinking and reaction, but that's for addiction.. so i breathed a sigh or relief.. went down the page to view side effects of the drug..

"Less serious codeine side effects include:

feeling dizzy or drowsy;
nausea, vomiting, stomach pain,;
constipation;
sweating; or
mild itching or rash."

You call this less serious?
1. the headache started since wednesday, taking this medicine worsened it.
2. i felt ok this morning, after taking it, my head was like some battlefield.
3. i didn't vomit, but felt like vomitting. thought i might even just faint on the spot la!
4. it caused me to miss DI!!!!! that's like, the most impt reason of all lo..

grr.. grrr...
=X... sorry my little brain, you gotta suffer a bit.. =X.....

You're my Healer
You're my Sustainer...

2011-10-21T21:10:00.000+08:00

Monologue begins...
Fever: muahahaha.. see la, overworked yourself again...
me: what?!?! what did i do?!!??!
Fever: i'm slowly consuming u!!!
Me: go away!!! shoo shoo!!
Fever: never!!!
Me: grrr!! *BISH!!*
Fever: OOOOOUUUUCCHHH!!!
headache: that's what happens when u hit fever so hard!
Me: ......................................

im in a daze... woke up at 5.. PM.... didn't go for classes today, but thank God it was only an hour of Japanese.. and 1.5hrs of dance class.. hopefully i can catch up when i get well again. =X...

amen!!! not that i fancy the dress though... haha!!!

Your faithfulness...
Your love..
You...
all that i ever need..

2011-10-18T21:06:00.000+08:00

Alright, i woke up extremely early today. 6am i was awake! I thought that i needed to be in school by 10am for for European studies tutorial. Finishing up my history essay (because i KO-ed again yesterday night, thank God for brothers who helped me soooooo much in my essay.. thanks Matthew and Bynes!), i realised... there isn't tutorial.. so technically.. i needed to be in school only at 2pm..

WAD........

as since Sophia is embarking on our positive challenge this week, THINK POSITIVE! Thank God though.. managed to catch up on my readings and it feels good somehow.

And God is faithful! There are so many things that one could complain about, and resent about, yet we always tend to forget the good side about things. It poured heavily today. Yet i didn't get caught in the rain, nor felt the rain! It's so amazing. It rained when i was in the MRT going to school. It rained when i was in class. It rained when i boarded the bus to go home. But it always subsided whenever i'm out in the open. I didn't pray to God to not let rain fall on me (i don't really mind it.. =D), but it's just so amazing.

And at the same time, i prayed to God for all the people who were drenched and stuck in the rain to help them not grudge or lament over the rain. It's that feeling inside you which you just want to spread it to others. Isn't that the same as how we should see evangelism? The gospel is God's good news to the world. Not to demand people to convert, but to spread the joy and love of God to our neighbors.

Nothing is impossible..
no man is a lone island.
what you do, affects others..

P.S. i saw the cute kitten that dwells in my Condo.. and its mom!!! KITTEN SOOOOO CUTE!!!!!! IT MEOWED!!!!

2011-10-14T19:05:00.000+08:00

embarrassing moment..
anxious moment...
broken moment...

all in one day? hmm..

2011-10-11T13:35:00.000+08:00

Yep i'm using the Mac commons at Utown!! lalala... my 6hrs worth of lectures is going to start soon, and im already freezing!!!! grrrrrr......

it rained so heavily this morning my dad and i decided not to go to the usual coffee shop to have breakfast, but to have Mac! had pancakes!! woohoo!!!

Anyway, i'm procrastinating... i want to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep, im just venting... this is a random post. hahaha!!

2011-10-04T11:33:00.000+08:00

everyone has a different purpose in life, God gave us the talents that we uniquely have. So don't try to be someone else other than yourself.

Was wondering why i wanted to talk about the above picture, it jsut felt like a good time to remind myself that there are things that i'm not apt in, but there are many other areas in which God has given me the talents to do them well. Yet, often people tend to focus on the things that they are not good at, and dwell in them.

I'm really side-tracking for a moment here. I'm freezing to the core of my bones here in the Mac Commons in UTown, while trying to ingraine in my head all the historical stuff of pre-modern South, East, SouthEast Asia to Imperialism, and colonialism during the High imperialism period and the vocabularies of Japanese Langauge.

initially i wanted to focus on the first part of the quote, the get outside part.. because i really want to defrost myself.. IT'S REALLY REALLY REALLY COLD!!! IT'S LIKE 2 HOURS HERE ALREADY AND I'M FREEZING!!! my jacket isn't big enough to cover my entire body......... =S!!!

Yea, but i think the essence of the quote above is actually the second part of it.. haha.... =D
I am a child of God! So i believe that the lecturer for my european studies will end on time today so that i would not need to rush for my history lecture midterms!!!!!! Amen!

2011-09-30T14:52:00.000+08:00

someone commented that most of the pictures here have females in, so i shall prove that i don't only search for girls! muahaha.. actually as i randomly search for pictures, true most of the photos are of ladies, but hey! there are guys too!!! lol... i like this picture... long to be able to go unto a rooftop!!!! that'll be so extremely cool.. =D

that being said, i'm sick again... ARgh..... i hate this feeling. It's making my body feeling so weak, lethargic!! The air around me isn't helping too. The area near the mrt whenever i go home is always filled with smoking air.. Furthermore i realised my nose can't take too icy/cold places. sigh....

See guy again! lol.. okok... i should stop.. haha! But yea... amen! i'm terribly fearful for my midterms, especially for my Japanese Language (P.S. you can't say Jap language, cus Jap is like an insult to the Japanese, that's what my tutor said..), i'm failling like 3 tests!! =S!!! I've got a first listening test later on, so i'm vigorously listening to the CD and to some of my favourite anime songs.. hehe!

I guess one thing that's pushing me on to not be demoralized because of those test, is that i really want to do well for Japanese Language. And why? well, i guess i like the language alot, though it's said to be one of the most difficult language to learn, but more importantly i want to be able to go Japan and speak Japanese! The desire is strong!! Then come to think about it, isn't this like the same as our relationship with God? Though we fall sometimes, or rather ALOT OF TIMES, we still carry on and move, why? because we desire to have an intimate relationship with God.

One thing that differs from my desire of learning Japanese and being with God is that the reward i get with a relationship with God is for eternity. ETERNITY-MINDED PEOPLE!!!! wheeww!!!

Can't wait for Saturday to come... SOPHIA SKYPING WITH YEEJENG!!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!

In Your providence,
I trust..
i promise i'll work hard on my part..
setting hindrances aside..

2011-09-23T23:40:00.002+08:00

I was halfway through "Letters to Juliet" when my mom came back home and sat with me to watch it. It was at a scene where Sophie was going to breakup with her fiancee.

Me: hmm.. i think the Victor guy (her fiancee) quite handsome also leh..
Mom: so what? you want them to be together or not?
Me: huh? im just saying the actor quite handsome mah..

The scene went on till the part where Sophie somehow got to a house with a balcony, and her love (i cant rmb the name) was like at the bottom calling out to her, somewhat like a reenact of Romeo and Juliet scene.

Me: what?!??!?! oh this is just sooo drama.. yea yea so he's going to like look up and she's going to like look down... =/
Mom: romantic what...
Me: arugh.... so unbelievable!

Haha.. ok, i might be biased on that side, but it's a relatively ok movie. For those who really like romantic fantasy, one of the guys really came riding on a horse! talk about "prince riding a white horse".. lol..

That aside, i've been relatively..... productive and unproductive... Seriously, that performance critique for "Fear of Writing" nearly killed me. I spent nearly the entire day (save for the morning, was reading on Europe history) tediously typing out a 1000 word essay on it. Writing a history essay is not as bad as it! Then after Eugene edited it, i was like.. blown away.. lol..

Sigh.. i just hope i do well for it, GPA above 3.00 then i'll be eligible for the Student Exchange Programme (SEP)!

It was productive because I DID STUDY... but unproductive because i'm still lagging behind, or at least i think so. Regardless, i believe i can make it through! God be my helper!

Mid-terms are coming,
still You reign.
God is able.

that aside... I GOT MY DRIVING LICENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-09-16T19:18:00.002+08:00

In my own dreamland again... i realised the 2 hours between my Jap language class and Jazz adv. beginner class can be used to read His word and after that use the internet facilities here in NUS! lol..
It's a slack day afterall.. not really, because it's just the start of my recess week (something like a september holidays), in which i'll need to catch up on my readings, research and do 3 essays to be handed in when classes resume he following week. Still, i'm really looking forward to it. i do not need to get up so early in the morning anymore! =D!

I think this picture is way cool.. flaming arrow! FIGHTING!!!!

2011-09-11T17:32:00.015+08:00

This post was saved as a draft on 4th September. I wanted to talk about my driving test. Actually, i wanted to talk about many more things. It's nearly 3 weeks since i last posted. i didn't mean to neglect blogging, it's just i had no time.

I wish i could say that i wanna blog about a few updates on what's happening in my life, but come to think about it, at least right now, it doesn't seem to matter.

Yes, i passed my driving test 2 weeks back. Thank God for His favor during the drive.
I went to the airport to send YeeJeng off last week, and i'm missing her. Thank God for her.
last Thursday went for a play called "fear of writing". Thank God my friends were understanding enough to let me go home and rest and not join them for drinks.
Yesterday was September Surprise. Thank God for His strength that we pulled through.

I'm not sure what to say. Actually.

There's a place i dream of, being with You.
but recently my dreams are anything but.
there's so much to think about,
i want to give my all to where You have placed me in.
Protect me oh Lord,
i feel a sense of negativism and guilt in me
that i know comes not from You.

2011-08-26T23:35:00.001+08:00

Lying on the bed procrastinating about how ill i felt that i didn't want to do work, i just wanted to rest. Yet at the back of my head there's tons i need to complete. my bed's so soft and comfy... ok, i'll do QT when i rest enough.

When's that?

True that i might have legitimate reasons of slacking off (because i'm sick and all), but somehow God's been putting a nagging thought in my head while i was on bed. i needed to learn from His disciples to not fall into temptation when they were in the garden of Gethsemane.

that hit me real hard. DISCIPLINE. not what i feel like doing, but what i do that benefits my life with God. After all, everything is permissible, not everything is beneficial. Funny how God uses my thoughts to bring me to act. i was thinking that i really want to just sleep off the night, and if anyone calls, i'll not pick up...

.... then Yvonne called. =)

You didn't let me have my way..
You kept nudging..
like a Father, You disciplined..
like a Father, You love...
i'm humbled..

2011-08-24T23:57:00.001+08:00

Revelations 21:4 (new living translation) says "He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever." Yes.. i'm believing in it. For now though, i'm stuck being sick all the time.. yes, once again, i'm sick. Been having mild headaches since yesterday, bad throat and sneezing as well.

So basically, went to the doctor and he gave me two days MC.. which off course is useless i'm not going to miss school.. but i couldn't take it after my jap language class today. Hopped into a taxi and went home, crashed unto the bed and slept... from 12pm, till about 7 plus.. basically doing nothing except rest. (which was what the doctors initially wanted me to do anyway)

But it was quite a funny experience visiting the doctor. There was an intern (he's from NUS too! saw his matrics card), and as the doctor diagnosed my condition, the doctor kept asking him questions.

Pro doctor: so hearing her voice, what can you conclude?
Intern: erm.. it's coarse?
Pro doctor: *shake head* nope, try again..

wow.. stressed!!! lol.. then we talked about antibiotics and my sensitive nose. we concluded that in order for me not to fall sick due to my nose problem, i'll have to move out of Singapore and go to places like New Zealand where the air is fresher and there won't be much dust. HAHAHAHA!

That aside, i'm wide awake now, so i'll need to start tackling the vigorous amount of readings i need to complete. was reading some "enlightenment" reading for European Studies and i totally didn't get it at all.. SHUCKS.... there's a gazillion of readings to read!!!!!!!!!! ahh!!!!

No sickness, no hurt or pain
You hold me now, You hold me now.

2011-08-20T23:25:00.000+08:00

Being there. No mask, no hiding. being real. not just tight in blissfulness, but tight through trials. Not just words of encouragement, but words that leave imprints. To know that we've got each other's back. To know that through our imperfectness we love and spur. Be it rebuking, be it encouraging.

Too often we compromise softness for firmness. Not amount of encouragement will do us good or bring us far if we ourselves do not act upon it, do not discipline ourselves to do it. Let us settle for nothing less than excellence for God settled for nothing less than excellence.

we want to be firm.
We settle for nothing less.
to discipline ourselves.
God You reign.
Throw us into the fire.
that we may be refined as gold at the end.

As the leaders ended our meeting with a song, i looked up and saw a small lantern fueled by candle fire rising into the night sky. i wondered if anyone wrote a wish on it, thinking it would reach the heavens and the wish would be granted. watching it, the fire suddenly went out and the lantern probably flew away to distance ground. Our prayers aren't like that. They reach to heavens and our Father in heaven hears them, and will answer them.

As sophia ended our cell time with a round of prayers by everyone, it was strenuous for us i think but i'm glad for it. What we prayed for Sophia, what we envision us to be, and knowing that we agree with each other in prayer.. God knows, and honors us..

2011-08-19T23:13:00.000+08:00

I'm terribly tired. and amazingly refreshed. difficulty in waking up in the mornings caused my mind to be haphazard, in a state of what i would call "loss of organization". I guess i could give it excuses such as I'm just adapting to Uni life cus it's just the second week and they are already bombarding us with tons of readings etc etc, but i'll be lying.

True that i'm adjusting, but let's face it. Uni life at the moment is RELAXED. though there are tons of readings, i've got alot of breaks! the only thing i might complain about is my Tuesday schedule with comprises of 3 back-to-back lectures 2 hrs each, ending my day at 8pm. but that is still bearable because of the company i have during the lectures. so why is my mind in such a mess?

It's crazy. i used to be able to face the computer screen for nearly the entire day. now i can't face it for more than 2 hours and my head will start spinning like mad.

Went to Editor's market yesterday with my OG mates after school and realized the joy of shopping with girl friends. It's different somehow, how they would pester each other while trying out the clothes, giving opinions and all. It felt weird at first. But seeing how they would help to accessories one another in the clothes to complete their look somehow warmed me up. We looked so cute together with the same plastic bag from the shop. haha..

Let's do this again some more. =) Not that i fancy or will be giving opinions and all, i just like the company.

old meets new. i met old friends and new friends this week. Just ended my jazz dance class and i made old friends and new friends too! =) Speaking of Jazz dance.. i believe "a familiar yet unfamiliar" is a good phrase to summarize it. Ok i admit, it's not really an unfamiliar territory, perhaps im too used to contemporary dance that I'm awkward to dancing to such worldly catchy songs. And everyone is so comfortable...

Everything is permissible,
not everything is beneficial.
i pray i'll dance in a manner
that glorifies You.

2011-08-13T23:53:00.000+08:00

chasing after something that isn't meant to be tied down. rather, let it go. Even as i continue to search for a cca in Uni.. it seems really difficult.

yep, school started on Thursday, and with mixed emotions i entered the lecture hall! Glad to have met some of my OG mates, after which i went to slack at JiaWei's new hostel in university town!

It's rather... irritable.. that after nearly half a day's work of finding out the entire "collection" of ccas NUS offers... i still can't make up my mind. IRRITATING... I have no specific wants or passion for a particular group, which makes it all the more frustrating. But i thank God for Jazzttitude, because i was looking for a dance group that isn't performance focused.. i just want to learn dance.. =)

i should take it slowly right?
experience says less haste..
You said not to be worried..
i give everything to You..

In the end, our top priority is our relationship with God. everything else is busy work. Let school life evolve around God. Let our relationships begin with God, and grow in God. Let our problems never be bigger than God. Let our thoughts be centered on God.

Devoted.. Dedicated.. Consecrated.. to One..

2011-08-05T23:39:00.001+08:00

I was never this tired after any orientation before. So FASS's orientation is the first ever to break that record, and i wasn't as high as i used to be last time! (Not that i "changed" in that aspect, but i guess i came with a different mindset. I'm not really sure how to put it to words, it's just a different purpose as to why i wanted to go for orientation week. I'm still high whenever there's camp!)

I did enjoy myself. lol for once someone said i was shy.. me leh.. SHY... haha.. (i have a feeling it's because i didn't talk much.. hmm.. but that's cus i was observing much!) but anyway, do you sometimes feel that you are in a crowd, but you don't belong in it? Maybe that's how every "freshie" feels like whenever they first start school in a totally different environment. still.. i'm excited about my modules!

Though i'm a little frustrated about it because i simply can't find a substitute module for my last one! Sheesh.. it's mightily annoying when you see a module that you are interested in but can't fit into your timetable because it clashes with another, or when it fits you realised you can't even bid for it because others bid way more than you could offer... *smack on the head*... it's already my third try......

Slept in today because i felt sooo lethargic from yesterday's beach day. Decided to give Sports Day of orientation a miss, though it's quite interesting.. they are playing Quiddich! the Hogwarts game which requires players to sit on a broomstick.. lol.. but i was on my way in the afternoon to meet Amaris and Bernice when i realised.. i didn't bring my phone...

"too late to turn back and get it.." i thought... so i was like.. alamak! how am i going to meet them??? lol.. Be convinced of the absolute sufficiency of God.. that was what i was going to share with them today.. and about 45min after the meeting time had gone, i still didn't spot them.. i was really desperate! In my head i was praying God help!! yet at the same time, i was wondering should i just go back? On the verge of giving up, i told God "one last time around west mall, if i can't find them i'll go back.." Alas.. God provides! He led me to the food court and i saw them!!

I'm glad i trusted God to provide a way and not believe in my own doubt that we can't meet.. Faith is believing in God and ACTING upon it.. that i learnt today...

in little ways You provide
in all my ways You reign..
i'm in awe..
for in You i choose to trust and obey..
in You i delight evermore..

2011-07-29T23:24:00.002+08:00

I'll have to wait gruelingly for another month before i can sit for my driving test again.. Some beside me started crying because they failed too..
"Only God can turn a MESS into a MESSage, a TEST into a TESTimony, a TRIal into a TRIumph, a VICTim into a VICTory. GOD is good-all the time!"
someone posted this on twitter, and it helped me align my thoughts a bit. yep, i'm humbled..

I was reprimanding myself for failing the test because i know i could do it.. i had 10points in total but i mounted a curb! Then the second nature in me asked God why had He allowed me to fail.. come to think about it, it was my arrogance that played an important role here. i thought to myself people like Jie and Yvonne could pass on the first, so i could too! Then i could be in the same "league" as them.. I wanted to show off, and God didn't let me have the chance.. Instead i shamed myself.. Thank God for this important lesson learnt...
Forgive me for my pride..
You look into everyone's heart..
I'm sorry...
mould me, i'm willing..
i want to be more like You..

Nothing will be achieved if i keep molding in my mistake! i'll try again!! Push Push Push..

2011-07-28T23:21:00.052+08:00

My mom used to complain about my room being stuffy because i never wanted to open the window. High time i took her advice. Felt so much better from my flu after opening the windows yesterday. My room felt much fresher and brighter too. NICE...

Haven been able to sleep well the past few nights. My block nose kept me awake most of the time, while i just can't get sleep! Totally felt that it spoilt my mood and what's left remaining of my holidays before university starts. But it's a blessing in disguise i guess. Manage to get stuck at home playing worship songs on the guitar and well, just resting...

I even got the chance to rewatch the past Singaporean dramas! "笑傲江湖" is one of them!! I remember i used to love those mediacorp dramas.. especially the ladies costumes. Used to love observing how the ladies wore, and even designed some of my own. haha.. ok, so i rewatched a few.. such as "东游记" and "白蛇新传" .. Though come to think about it, my appreciation for it is reducing.

First, "东游记" (1998) is much to involved in the love traingle between He XianGu, Bai MuDan and Lu DongBin. Much to my *irritation*.. EVERYTHING'S ABOUT LOVE?!?! the focus isn't really on how the legend of the eight immortals came about (which was what i wanted), rather about people helplessly falling in love and sacrificing everything in order to prove it.. I may be biased because i had hoped it'll shed some light as to the legend.. but i think i gained more by reading wiki.. =S

"笑傲江湖" is nice.. (im going to be biased here).. but frankly.. the plot is incoherent. It's like as though all the characters in the drama know exactly what happened everywhere la! it makes no sense.. plus, they didn't focus that much on the hero himself.. nor the relationship between him and his love interest. it's like suddenly oh he loves her.. The story build up took up nearly half of the episodes, and they rushed through the end.. AND MY FAVOURITE COUPLE DIED!!!

So, i'm not satisfied.. i much prefer TaiWan or HongKong dramas now.. even the ancient chinese versions.. sigh.. am still wondering in which dynasty did the legends came about.. some say Qing or Ming dynasty.. sigh.. confusing!!!

2011-07-24T22:36:00.000+08:00

slept like a pig after i came home from church at 2pm, awoke only around 8pm. wow... never knew i could be that tired.. haha.. forced myself to eat yong tau foo for dinner cus my throat was really dry. Somehow, i like yong tau foo without the sweet sauce already! i got the sauce plate filled to the brim with sweet sauce but i didn't even finish half of it! Proud of myself.. lololol!!

But yea, having a bad throat isn't a wonderful thing to have alright. At least it's making me stay at home with my mom now that my dad's overseas... and making hot chocolate for my mom!! trying out if i substitute low fat milk for full cream milk, would it taste the same??? hmm.....

went to the railway!! not that it's anything special off course, but i liked it. im not saying that it's because the railway is closing that's why i wanna go and reminisce it for the last time, but it's just nice.. perhaps it's me and ancient stuff, but i like forested railways.. It's somehow gives a mysterious yet homely feeling.. ahh, oh dear, i'm reading too much fantasy stories... haha!

It's not the end yet right?
So we will continue to fight alongside..
we leave the outcome in Your hands..
only knowing that You are in full control of the situation..
help us, help her, help her family..
for i know You hear our prayers..

2011-07-17T23:33:00.000+08:00

A song that was played in church this morning. Hear it, be blessed from it. It may seem airy fairy to some about God's love, but to me, God's love is real. It penetrates deep into me, exposing everything to Him who knows all about me. about my imperfections, about my wrongdoings.. and still loves me.

a front since may..
time to be real...
to be broken before You...
i'm not okay without You...

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH................ and that's it, i've got nothing else to say. It's a hurdle i somehow need to figure out on my own. Everything's just quiet...

Few updates...

Monday 11th July
Went to work! which was fun cus i made tons of hot chocolates.. haha.. watched "transformers"!!! and Ivan brought me to St. James power station bar! (P.S. i cant rmb the name.. Boiling room?) tried Lychee Martini and Strawberry Margherita!! =D!

Tuesday 12th July
Had photoshoot with the family. Got to see my grandma again! =) missed her, and want to play maijong with her soon! lol, funny thing.. i never wanted earholes, so my mom got me some ear stickers (which is soo dumb) and at the end of the shoot, jie and i played "indian" with them! lol!!!

Wednesday 13th July
baked cookies! and just lazed around until evening where i went PS to meet up with Pearlyn and Candice! So long since i met them.. haha! and we took photos near the toilet! it was self timer... quite interesting to see how passer-bys who are trying to go to the toilet trying to avoid getting into our pictures.. lol!!!! public nuisance we were!

Thursday 14th July
Last day at Palio, won't be seeing most of my colleagues any time soon cus school's starting, doubt my parents would want me to work. i think i will miss them. initially wanted to write cards for them but decided against it as i didn't know if i was working the same shift as they were and i won't be seeing them soon too. well, i've learnt loads.. and am grateful too... grateful that i met the people there.. Thank God for such wonderful people.. =)

Friday 15th July
yes, Jie had a last minute spur.. we were initially supposed to go railway! thanx to her we went to USS instead. but it was fun despite the initial downpour of rain which dampen our mood a bit. i got my potion bottle! and a couple of badges too! it's sooo cold!!! (was wearing sleeveless cus i tot it'll be sunny and i'll be perspiring alot.. little did i know it was the other way around.. was freezing in the theatre of the 4D shrek adventure. haha)

Anyway, i missed the fireworks at night because i had to rush over to JP to meet Candice for "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2"!!! it was nice, off course it deviated from the book ALOT.. but still.. nice.. just that the people there have very or no consideration at all. It's not an experience i would like to pen down so that i can remember in the future, so i'll just say.. hated the company, loved the movie.

Saturday 16th July
Went to tecman with Yeejeng and got her study bible!!! yay!! haha.. had a wonderful time with LukChing and YeeJeng for iconstruct too! haha fashion show for cell time was super funny! lol.. oh and Habib joined for dinner and the gig that Lefa and his band put up at Orchard.

lol.. life's seems so happening.. but i really wanna take some time to stay home and read the books i borrowed from the library.. =)

2011-07-10T23:55:00.002+08:00

This week passed by soo slow... or maybe it's just my own feel. but it really felt the week passed real slow. It's as though i'm just waiting for something to come quickly. A little anticipation, but more of urgency.

Yea, with uni starting in just a few weeks and work ending the coming week, i think i should start to refocus on my goals, organise my thoughts as well. The initial rush of wanting to do many things is reduced to a selective few that is related to my main interest - history. such is going to Changi chapel and museum on Monday with my jie. Apparently the wall of china near chinese garden in already in a process of being torn down.. =(!!!! and to Haw Par Villa!

Reading a book on the first emperor of China gave me great insights as to how Ancient China is like. Given me a new perspective of Qin ShiHuang. I can't wait to lay my hands on more.. =) Yet come to think about it, the prospective of going to university doesn't seem to be sinking in to me. I didn't attend any of the camps that CCAs or Faculties had, partly because i didn't feel like making new friends but also because it felt weird being the only one there not knowing anyone. Off course there is orientation week, and not that i'm scared of making new friends, its just that usual excitement about going some place new is missing.

Is the heart truly content as it is right now?

2011-07-02T23:12:00.000+08:00

If only i was able to do this!!!! Omo! that'll be super duper cooooooooollll!!! haha but i did something quite extraordinary too! last night was a superb night! went night cycling with Steven, Sean and Randy! cycled from CCK to Harbourfront and back! it's the ultimate experience when we cycled on the road! i can't count the number of times a car was like within a metre range of the bike i borrowed from Steven. (initially supposed to borrow from Sean, but Sean's bike too light i wasn't used to it).. 40km in total! wow....

a downside is that it was the longest time ever i sat on a bike.. (5 hours?!?!? 7pm to 12am!!) and my butt hurts... LIKE MAD.. i was trying to sleep last night, but i tossed and turned but i couldn't find a comfortable spot to rest my butt! P.S. it still hurts..... but thank God i didn't get into any accidents on the road for the first time without even proper gear (i wasn't even wearing shoes!)

top of the crazy things i wanna do before i go Uni... that probably includes going unto the railway tracks like those in the movie "Red dragonflies" which YeeJeng acted in! Go to a bar and listen to a band (mind u, it's not a club with ppl shaking their bodies...).. Visit every sophia members' home! go to the closed down Tang dynasty theme park at Chinese garden.. go to the exhibitions at the public libraries! Haw Par Villa! woah.. suddenly.. THERE'S SO MANY THINGS TO DO!! HAHA..

more than anything, to live for You
to dance for You..
to dance through You..

2011-06-30T23:26:00.032+08:00

Morning i got up and prepared to go for work. My dad was sending me. We got into the lift and it travelled down a few floors to pick up another father and daughter whose age is roughly around secondary school, and her father was carrying her school bag. the lift went down another few floors to pick up a similar family, just that the daughter is a toddler carried by the dad. funny how the three families in the lift gave me a warm feeling early in the morning. Perhaps its the fact it somehow signifies the relationship we have with our parents throughout our years. from toddler to a child to a teen, and off course in years ahead, and adult.

In the same way, our daddy God is always with us every step of the way. i was reminded once again of how faithful God is to us. I'm thankful.. truly..

I'm trying to cramp all my driving lessons this week so that i can book my practical test before my uni term starts! Contrary to most, I LOVE PARALLEL PARKING! and i managed to switch lanes fast during the peak hour just now during my lesson (though the instructor picked on every other thing i did.. why are there so many road hazards?!?!?!).. either way, i hope im able to book my test before my term starts.. PLEASE!!! =S..

Sigh, it's coming to the end of my holidays, i've not gone overseas on my own with friends.. just around Singapore. True to what Habib said yesterday over dinner, I experienced working life and many more, but i yearn to broaden it even more by venturing to different environments all together. oh well, take it one step at a time i guess...

bustling with activities,
Father i pray..
teach me good management..

2011-06-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

trip to woodlands industrial area made me realised jungle mosquitoes are very resilient. sitting on a bench overlooking the skyline of Malaysia with you back facing Singapore.. being at 2 places in one time.. first time getting a ride on the back of a lorry from strangers. Amazing how God is... The serenity you get, even near the power cables.. watching the sun set behind the trees and seeing the night lights that lid up across in Malaysia.. WOW.. it was definitely a wonderful yesterday. That's 2 things checked from my list of crazy things i wanna do: 1) picnic at the power cables 2) get a ride from a total stranger. I've still got lots more!

Off course that aside, THE MOSQUITO BITES ARE REALLY REALLY IRRITATING.........

Beyond Love Beyond! New faces around off course, but it still feels home, and something much closer. It's good to be back with Sophia and all, but it somehow feels.. changed, in a good way. What can i say that isn't been said already during the sharing? I see and feel God moving in M.A.D. (that's our group name) through Extreme Makeover, what of for everyone? It brought me closer to guys and girls from other zones. As far as i know now, this phrase connects to me now, that DI is my family.. not just Sophia, but DI... do you feel the same?

Seeing the rest getting uptight about midyears and holiday homework incomplete caused me to reminisces the times i too felt ill-prepared for midyears and rushing through unfinished work. Off course saying to just do your best and give God the glory is but talk, but take it differently from DOING, but the ATTITUDE and PURPOSE of studying (aka getting stressed from it). I got stressed because i looked inwardly, at my own capabilities, of how it was impossible for ME to study all that pile of things.. and as we learnt, love beyond ourselves.. look beyond ourselves too. isn't our God whom we say we trust and believe in more than capable of bringing us through our exams and school?

Perhaps then you ask, but there's still so much to memorise and prepare! yes i know i need to trust God, but i have to do work too! Yep, that's true.. which is why i believe attitude comes in. when i say our God brings us through, it's also the belief in Him that He gives us the assurance and peace we need. and this is where it gets really amazing. it's such that you are relying on God for such things that no longer are you bothered of how well you do, but rather you do your best, and at the end of the day, God be the glory. Pass or fail, to Him be the glory.

out of despair, tears flowed.
treasure someone, love poured.
hold them close, oh God.
for You have never withdrawn Your hand to them.

2011-06-23T23:51:00.000+08:00

Made with love, made to love, made for love. Do you believe? three words the rings: don't give up. When the going seems tough, don't give up. When you seemed bounded by your circumstances, don't give up. When you feel far away from people you once loved, don't give up. It seems idealistic, but it's true. I remember reading this, that a single grass will die out very fast against the harsh weather, but together a whole patch of them will survive. Don't do this alone..

After two days straight of extreme makeover.. i'm beat.. had driving in the morning before i realised.. I FORGOT MY KEYS... haha.. thank God for iphone and friends! able to crash into Elissa's house (sorry Alex! though your hse nearer, but u need to leave home at 4.30pm then i dunno what to do le!! hehe..) and fall straight unto the sofa and slept like a log.. off course before that i went to Clementi to meet Cherie and Xiaoting for iconstruct! yay!! and i went paper market!!! lol.. spent alot!!!! =D

but yea, i'm tired. physically, that is.. =)

i don't wan to go thru it again..
i don't think i'm strong enough..
but You dictate it all,
indeed, have it Your way..
i only ask for strength...

2011-06-18T23:03:00.009+08:00

it blooms.. and watching them bloom as i nourish would be wonderful. Just that it isn't me who nourish, but God. and it isn't just wonderful, it's perfect.. But what happens if itchy fingers pull up one of them? will they be able to survive? I'm in a trance... Most nights i kept dreaming of weird out of the world stuff, and the best part is i thought i'm beat to the core of my bones that my brain won't have the energy to stimulate such thoughts, that i'll just get a good dreamless nights.. i guess not...

15th!!! i went for Extreme Makeover with M.A.D.!!! needless to say, i was very very drained by the end of the day. I worked on scraping the walls till around noon time with Yeejeng and it killed me!! i strained my shoulders too... =S but it was loads fun with M.A.D.!! haha.. painting the walls of second coatings, getting to know Sheena's friends better and even from SAC Joyvna who asked us if we wanted to go sailing on Friday, 17th! hha..

washing the toilet was cool too!! i didn't play much but YeeJeng, Jerome and Jon played with the water! Omo.. and i even accidentally sprayed YeeJeng with water that she got drenched!! =X!! opps! haha, had a good laugh!

I guess what really drove me on was the fact that we could do it together as a team, and that we really wanted the best for the Uncle! Jon and I even went down to the neighborhood buy new bowls, plates and mattress for the Uncle!

Yep! i was utterly exhausted.. might be because the previous day i had work in the morning and had driving later on which tired out my legs cus of the low speed control i learnt..

I think i'm realising that I'm entering a new phase of life. the part where childhood and youth becomes a memory. I was telling Yvonne when i met her just now how out of place i felt during the BBGBDI gathering today, not because of anything or anyone, but i just felt somehow... out of place.. and i have to agree with YeeJeng (during Iconstruct on Thursday we talked about this too) that it somehow just feels different. A pleasant sort of different.. perhaps it's the fact that i'm over the *highness* and *youthfulness*, that going to malls to shop for cute stuff like Aries or Minitoons isn't my thing anymore. rather i'm interested to do things i've never been able to do before, going overseas with friends, drinking wine, going better restaurants for dinner, exploring more places instead of sticking near home. Perhaps that's why i've been so random these few days... even going sailing on friday 17th!!! (which was btw ultra mega fun fun fun!!!! just don't get seasick!)

Updates!!! i went out with Sophia today to Botanical gardens and Island Creamery!!!! I met most of them during the weeks for iconstruct, but it's really a good time to catch up with each other and bond again!!

though none of the girls could come in the morning to help out with the refreshments, i found a new side of my parents! Mom asked me to buy Mac breakfast for them as i went out to get the stuff for the picnic. Then when i got home and started making the bread, the two of them stood beside me and JUST WATCHED.. i was like.. "do you wanna help me or just stand there?" lol...

I started to boil water for the chicken sausage when my mom and dad started giving suggestions.. Normally i'll retort back and do it my way, but somehow i just allowed them to do whatever they wanna do. So instead my mom went to put the sausage in the microwave oven and my dad helped to do the pineapple chicken sausage cocktail.. it's like my family just got ard helping me.. which i never did (i guess) appreciated when i was younger.. haha.. talk about the change man...

changes to accept..
needing to adapt...
You are constant still..
in You i trust and obey..
to lead the way on the unknown road ahead..

2011-06-12T16:19:00.000+08:00

running still along the road. What is our motivation to continue on? For without purpose, i guess it's really meaningless. I used to think that setting goals in every meeting were useless, and we should just enjoy the experience, yet my perception have really changed over the years. At the end of the day, i realised it's having a goal and achieving it that makes it meaningful. =)

"are you a masochist?" that question struck. normally this question suggest that we learn even through suffering, that through trials we'll grow or learn something, be moulded in one area of our lives. but i guess there's a double meaning to it also. that, i learnt recently... inflicting on onself.. the causes.. the solutions...

like the sunrays,
You penetrate through the layers of the forest built..
warming the entire woods,
breathing life into me..

Recent updates!
Monday 6th June
went for site visit!!! haha, that was fruitful! plus i went to the National Archive or Singapore! it felt good. somehow.

Tuesday 7th June
Went to work at Palio afternoon shift after meeting Charis for iconstruct at saybons! yummy!!! hehe.. work was good too, got to help with Starz restaurant, liked the ambience there...

Wednesday 8th June
After driving went out with Yvonne! went to Braddell MRT station there, walked around the area a few round but couldn't find the famous Hokkien Mee that we googled! =( haha then being a random me, i decided that we go visit Charis and Cherie's house! =D

along the way we helped an old lady with her stuff, cus she was carrying so many stuff. As we were walking to her house, i felt a little helpless in a sense. i mean, not saying that we shouldn't help such old ladies, but it feels as though that's all that i can do for them.

Anyway, we went to Charis and Cherie's house! it's really really nice! haha and being a random me again, i told Yvonne.. lets go Bishan and buy Koi! AND WE DID..

lol, got home and KO-ed.. haha!!

Thursday 9th June
had work in the morning, then driving in the evening!! super cool!! next lesson i'm doing circuit training already! soo cool.. haha.. went to visit Elissa and Joy and helped out with the Mission Trip stuff. haha..

Friday 10th June
after meeting Cherie and Xiaoting for iconstruct i went for driving!! but something malu happened!!! =X! There's a shuttle bus catered for bbdc students to board at Bukit Gombak MRT station to the centre, so when i alighted at Bukit Gombak station there was a bus there already. So i ran for it and hopped unto the bus! up the bus i saw only Malays, but didn't think twice about it, though i felt a little weird why they were all smiling at me. So after a while, the more i thought about it, the more weird it felt! wanted to ask the bus driver if it was the bus that goes to BBDC, but as i got up the bus moved off!!

So i was like.. er...... then i saw a lady walking along the bus isle holding on to a ticket, asking for passports... *shocked*.... so i hurried down to the bus driver and asked. He laughed and said "you're not from this bus right? you not going to Johor?" then i was.. still in the state of embarrassment and shock, just pleaded him to alight me at the nearest bus stop.

MALU!!!!!

anyway, i went to visit the camp guys again! =D.. and i learnt how to shuffle! =D.. somehow seeing the rest of DI being involved in the camp made me feel that, i've outgrown camps.. once again, it's that nostalgic feeling because i know i used to love camps. now it just seems.. different. i love more to participate, though you get more out of planning.... isn't it?

2011-06-05T22:48:00.003+08:00

June is finally here isn't it? wow.. "Love Beyond" is finally on the going! =) highly excited for M.A.D.'s extreme makeover, and we just had bonding time yesterday at Minds Cafe!! I never knew Ambrose and Jerome had their joker side.. lololol!! had a great time with Ambrose, Jerome, Jon, and SiRui! Let's do this more often!! hehe...

I had to rush down to CentrePoint after that to meet my family.. somehow or rather we ended up at Robinson to get new silverware for our kitchen, a pair of slippers for myself, a wine set for my dad, a Gucci wallet for my mom, and a Longchamp bag for my jie.. lol.. and i ate Jap food at Sushi Tei!!!!! omomomomomom!!!! i missed Jap food!!!!!!!!!!!!
Salmon carpaccio! though not as tasty as salmon sashimi!

unagi tama sushi! with jie's tamago sushi!! omg, it's REALLY DELICIOUS!

kitsune udon!! udon noodles was perfect!

u know, i read in their menu that "guarantee an experience you'll never forget" part.. i believe it!! hehehehehe.. i really don't mind going back for more!

Though i think it's becoming a habit of mine to critic a restaurant's service standards, after working at Palio.. oh dear... lol..

a blooming flower usually tells of a beautiful story behind it. People would admire it for its beauty, not matter how it seemed as though its on the surface level. but isn't there a phrasing that "a flower's most beautiful just before it withers"? to cherish every moment. to treasure every second. to make every second count for eternity. what are we doing?

the words that are formed, He creates.
yet the ink is provided by us.

tugging at my heartstrings..
it's been too long..
speaking through a new way,
God i take a step at a time.. for now..
to hold Your hand again.

2011-06-01T23:35:00.001+08:00

Hectic week last week, last week of my job as a relief teacher, suddenly a torrent of work comes piling at my doorstep. haha.. great experience though, will definitely treasure the moments with my kids of E4'11, E2'11, N2'11 and 3N'11.. super cute..

"World Play Day" on 28th May was great too! it's then that i realised how much i missed dancing. Heard that the team going to Thailand was also dancing! haha wanted to learn too!! i miss dancing alot.. Somehow i'm over the provocative type of dancing style where ladies like to do those sexy waves and all. or like when performing on stage you give that "look down on other ppl" face kinda thing? i don't know, but it just seemed to me that some dance to show off. i guess participating in "world play day"'s youth concert taught me how different the world perceive dance and how God view dance..

Anyway I went to cycle too on Saturday! there was a break in between my performances, so i went to cycle!! haha.. cool too!! even went to eat Jap food!! speaking of which I MISSED JAPANESE FOOD.. the last time i ate was when my jie cooked.. =S! i missed chawanmushi!

figuratively speaking.... and its from where we fall that we can rise again..

a season of moulding... hmm...

2011-05-22T23:25:00.000+08:00

Just got back from Shark fins... Realising the harsh reality of society that we live in. On the trip home was just thinking about it. Used to have the attitude that we should just take each day by the day itself, live it with an open heart. Even if we were to plan ahead, it's just probably few months or so. Come to think about it, all the financial needs, the provisions.. somehow i feel really sheltered, and though i keep saying i want to be independent, do i really know what it means to be independent??

Is that how youths actually adapt to society? after being sheltered for most of their lives, after graduation, they are suddenly slumped with many issues they've never faced, never prepared before.

"mi, i wanna go Thailand.."
"No"..
"mi, my friends and i wanna go on a cruise.."
"No"...

sigh...

it's so easy to fall from a high place.. yet so difficult to climb back up again to the past position.. but keep trying..

i promise...

Art Science Museum on 20th!!!
saw loads of cool stuff!!! it was really nice.. =) hehe.. and my colleagues and i took loads of photos there!! haha.. then i drank Gong Cha at Raffles city too while getting the Ben and Jerry's voucher.. haha!

then i napped a little at home before going to Gladys house with Zoe to prepare for Showdown 3!! hiccups here and there, but thank God He made it possible!

ShowDown 3 at Christchurch Secondary on 21st!
Met the instructors at woodlands mrt and drove off to prep!! lol.. pretty fun watching the rest of DI playing touch rugby.. haha! in the end i was the only one without any muscle aches!! (evil grins!!! =D) ok la.. hope everyone had fun.. haha!

2011-05-17T23:36:00.006+08:00

Many friends are irritated with me... =X... i've got myself to blame... Just hope they'll forgive me..

"I don't know what you are thinking at times"... this is the only picture i could think of when these words were spoken. i titled it "empty". The irony of this is that it's outside, not inside. A facade, perhaps.. split personality even.. loner possibly.. all these seemed like a possible explanation to those words. yet maybe, just maybe.. it's a preference turned to a habit.

What does it takes to fully understand a person? knowing his or her habits? knowing the person's thoughts and feelings? How much you know about a person doesn't mean you know the person. But it is a step for us to take in order to grow deeper in our relationships with the people around us. then another question pops up, do we truly need to know the person in order to be close to the person?

i'm ranting..

i'm not perfect, and never in this lifetime on earth will i be. Through the mistakes i make, i'll learn and grow. I'll never stop. Today i realised, it's not mistakes i've not moved on from. R.O.P.B.

It isn't about getting back already right?
it's a cry for change.

2011-05-09T15:35:00.000+08:00

to shine... funny how things work.. good always have to come with a bad, because we use the "bad" as a measure of how "good" something is. how though we crave for a peaceful life with no worries, yet its through trials and even suffering that we truly enjoy and treasure peace. like how a star is being out shined in day by the sun but at night in the darkness it's where it shines the brightest.

Lately i've been in a "go through the daily motion" mood, with nothing to remember about yesterday, and today is yet just another day. Needing a purpose, and yes as a christian i should already have it. But i have to admit that no, even after being a christian my life will never be perfect. There are times that i'm lost, times that i'm angry with God, times that i just want to give up, times that i feel a loss of purpose and just living a mundane life..

But God's still just there. He takes it all... all of my imperfection and loves me, inspires me, guides me.

Anyway, can someone tell me a very very effective method of not relying on people in order to wake up early in the morning? Because i just wasted nearly $100 missing my driving lessons... =S miserable girl here just woke up thinking it was 8am (according to her clock) but when out and checked the coo-coo clock i the living room and it was 9.15am.. =S my practical driving was at 9.20am... =,S!!!! in vain i tried to salvage the situation by "try-and-sell"... but it was too late... haiz.... not to mention the previous few theory lessons that i missed.... argh!!! =(

But i enjoyed myself yesterday!! i went for my first ever KTV! and it was at "Suitez" Iluma with SFC! sooo cool.. the ambience, the "Shirley Temple" drink i ordered, the songs! haha.. not bad!! =D

to rely on You everyday..
God, help me rise up to who i need to be..
for the girls, and for growth.

2011-05-07T13:31:00.000+08:00

opps!! i missed writing in here! haha..
Now's the examination period for the kids, so i'm not needed to be in school everyday! =) so it's the slack period of my teacher-hood! though my colleagues and i were sort of creating lots of noise in the staff room.. haha!

My driving lessons are doing great too! i'm out on the road already! sooooo cool!! hehe.. thank God for nice instructors everytime.. i get to ask alot alot of questions and they wun be angry.. haha!

Also!!! my parents went to Europe! so jie and i had the whole house to ourselves! last thursday jie cooked pasta! yay!! haha we had fried rice on Sunday! and japanese spread on monday!! sooo cool!!! hehe.. we even drank wine! Moscato ! NICE..

Yesterday Elissa and Jethro came over for dinner too! and we had chinese spread! nice.. but i got soo dizzy after drinking Riesling and Moscato... not sure what i was doing.. haha! we played monopoly deal and some poker game, my mind was clear enough to think, but it felt soo heavy! and i fell off the chair too.. =S! opps!! haha then this morning i realised that i might have drank more than tt amount of alcohol.. cus before dinner yesterday i drank a bottle of Hooch (with vodka inside)... =S!!!!!!!!

well, Elissa stayed overnight! haha.. we didn't get to have much of girl talk cus it was 2 plus am already and i was still a bit dizzy.. haha..

You are good..
really good..
thank You God for your providence..

2011-04-26T23:46:00.000+08:00

I've got my NUS package today! exciting! =D

Despite that, my body isn't responding to me at all. I'm so tired even though there shouldn't be a reason for me to be tired!! I nearly fell asleep marking the kids papers too... sigh...

I'm starting to feel as though i'm some naggy mommy towards my kids.. especially my 3N kids.. Somehow it's when i get so intense explaining to them the SBQ skills and SEQ outline that they kept quiet (off course there are a few talkative ones, but i just told them with my death stare "if u wanna play, get out of my class.." they shut their mouth)

Super worried for the kids, not sure if they are prepared for their exams next thursday.. shucks..

That aside.. I PASSED MY BTT!!! FULL MARKS!!!! =D thank God!!! plus it was last min studying again! wheeee!!! i booked my first driving lesson.. and it's tml!! soooooo exciting!!

Plus i'm getting hyped up for cell time this week!!! Girls! must invite back our friends k! hehe..

I don't want to just be a person they see every week.
I want to let them know i'm always here for them..
Because i do love them..
Oh Lord, help me to show it..

2011-04-23T23:49:00.035+08:00

Long post...

Yes it feels like a bullet train these past 2 weeks that i've not been around. Miss me? i was still contemplating if i should blog, or if i should go to bed soon. the major portion of my "tight schedule" is officially over. It's not that i'm physically or spiritually drained. It's just.. at the end of it... God is all that matters.

Despite the fact that i've been losing the fight to my sleepiness at night that costs me my QT, despite the fact that i'm not growing or even maintaining my walk, despite the fact that i feel that i need to be more disciplined yet not doing it.. He is faithful..

He is faithful...

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul......" Psalm 23..

He gave me a peace that i needed through my busy schedule - cracking heads thinking for teaching stuff, lifecon prep, late nights thinking and falling asleep in front of the computer for AmazinGrace. He moved my heart each time we sang the lifecon songs and just to feel the compassion He have for the people. He blessed AmazinGrace richly with good weather, energy and passion with DI, and even myself when i prayed a simple prayer to not let my phone die during AG, He didn't allow my phone to die (it died at JE only..) He made it possible when it doesn't seem possible at all.

I can go into many things to complain about the past two weeks, about how tired i am, about how worried i am for many things. but i can't. God was simply my provider. He blessed me so much, even when i don't deserve it.

Father, i'm humbled.
More than anything, it's all about You.
beyond crying over my guilt,
You restore me.
that's when i know-
I can't live without You.
Not for the blessings nor what You give,
but You.

15th april
went to recee Botanical Gardens with LeFa! we went to get island creamery!!! super good!!!!! =D
and wooooooooo!!!!! botanical gardens was breath-taking! though it was mega tiring walking around the entire area.. haha.. i had fun!!!

16th April
Baptism of our brother-in-christ YueMun! Really encouraged me alot, to challenge myself and ask my parents about it..

We grieved. Garden of Remembrance.. the loss of a loved one. Yet Aunt Theresa was smiling. smiling because she knows she meet us again in Heaven.

17th April
Full dress 2.. it went smoothly! the songs are still replayed in my head. and i took the liberty to focus on the playing too! i never knew electric guitar could sound so cool, or keyboard so inviting (mind you, i have a bad history with piano). somehow i can't believe such music can be played.

19th April
blew my temper at the kids. literally gave them a death stare. and i realised i can't scold kids. it takes up all the rest of my energy for the rest of the day. sigh... but Yvonne (all the way from China) cheered me up! and YeeJeng gave me huggs!!! Plus i met up with Candice for dinner! =D

20th April
1E4 made my day today. i had fun playing with the duster stick during class. (swinging it across my shoulder and threatening to use the "stick" to piak their butts if they dun settle down).. lol.. though Alex says i'm so mean to the students.. lol.. i told her about the incident during 1E2's mock exam where a kid who had finished the exam went to read newspapers. so i walked over and read the opposite page he was reading. he said,"eh cher, hold it up leh, my hands very tired.." =.=''' so i held up the newspaper and guess what i did.. i moved the paper front and back into his face, front and back.. until he said,"ok ok sorry sorry cher".. HAHAHA.. not mean wad... LOLOLOL..

21st April
Lifecon!!!!!! Jeremy and Kelvin treated us to Koi too!!! sooo cool!!! spending time with the band and dancers nearly the entire day was quite special to me too. It's how much we gel together as a whole despite the different backgrounds, and that itself made me look forward to each practice session.

Life Concert itself was a blast. Im not sure how to put it into words. How the people responded i do not know, but i know and i believe God has stirred something in their hearts. Just the same way God stirred compassion within my heart.

It was short, but i thank God for giving me this chance to serve for Lifecon! World Play day next on 28th May! for an audience of nearly 2000, wow..

22nd April
AmazinGrace (AG) prep at Eunice house! we spent nearly 3 hours at JP shopping!!! haha.. and stayed at Eunice's house till nearly 11pm. and we still aren't done!! haha.. but i had a wonderful time with Eunice, LeFa, Elissa, WanTing and Bynes painting eggs and wrapping the boxes.

Today
I woke up and was rather groggy still. Mom told me to come and look at the computer screen in the living room. i was like.. huh? computer screen got scratch meh? so i went, but i couldn't see any! my mom insisted,"look at the computer screen! look at your application!" it was then that i realised.. I GOT ACCEPTED TO NUS!!!! actually my mom called ytd and told me about it.. but in the flurry of prep, i forgot all about it. haha!

anyway, AG at botanical gardens went well despite the inital hiccups.. lol.. Lefa and i were like shocked when we arrived, cus we thought the uncle would stop us at the visitor's centre.. haha! i've never perspired so much since don't know when la! But it was really fun! Picnic was cool!! thank God for the weather.. hehe..

I was a bit apprehensive for planning AG (i had bad experiences planning events), but it was really an enjoyable and fruitful journey planning it and executing it. Once again, i'm in awe of God's power where He made AG possible with only a 5 man team. (with helpers and more help along the way!) Thank God!

2011-04-11T23:10:00.001+08:00

I'm going to be buried beneath books every now and then. China's history... it feels as though i've just been through 2000 years of events.. from China's prosperities to the demise of their dynasties.. If only China had undergone the Industrial Revolution along with Europe, i'm sure China would be revered as it was in the past!

okok, end of my lecturing to myself. haha.. went out with P&G!!! haha.. went to JP and chitchat with JiaWei and WeiYun.. went around finding stuff, like more TEACHER CLOTHES and read up on some history assessment books for my students. lol!!

I'm starting Daniel Fast today! Pray that I'll persevere through! woo!! Yesterday was Lifecon full dress, but it seemed like the real Lifecon itself already. Yep, the CC may not be filled with people, but as i imagined in my head and sang "Father would You come".. wow.. this is just another "i cannot describe it with words" moment. You have to be there to experience it. I can't wait to see the Easter Week productions!

LIFE CONCERT 2011.. 21ST APRIL EVERYONE!!!

not that i'm facing any at the moment. It's just a good reminder.... and yea sure we can handle it. but really, the whole point is to rely on God to pull through it all isn't it? and by means of relying, it means utter dependence.. even when God doesn't speak.

I've seen what faith can do
help me overcome
the fatigue this week
oh Lord Almighty...

2011-04-09T12:05:00.001+08:00

Me: eh, where's the soya milk..
Mom: in the fringe...
Mom(in an irritated voice): eh eh.. eh who...
Me (after a few seconds): yes.. DEAREST mummy...

lol... i passed my BTE (basic theory evaluation)!!!!!! yea yea!! ok, it was on the second attempt. lol.. i initially had a slot at 7.30 (gosh it's sooooo early!) and i failed! 57/70.. then i was thinking, since still so early, see if i can get another slot at 8.25am... thank God there was! so i got another one.. and this time.. i passed!! 68/70!! quite good for the fact that i did a last minute study for it (no time!!)... haha.. PRAISE GOD, He made it possible!

I was sleeping in the carride home from the driving centre, where my mom nearly got into a car accident. i was like.. goodness, i just took my BTE not even BTT! i dun wanna die!! she emergency brake then my entire body got flung straight.. ok partly my fault cus i didn't put seatbelt (i got into the car and closed my eyes le.. hehe!!!).. scratch my big toe! =(

Ahh... that's what i feel like doing right now... wishing there weren't any papers to mark, lessons to plan, worrying for the 3N class tt they're quite weak but it's 2-3 weeks to their exams, proposals to edit, worrying when is NUS going to reply me.. (i really want to go FASS!!!), Lifecon!!!!!!! woo! tml is full dress 1!!!

all praise goes to You!
it's saturday again Lord! how time flies..
let us enjoy DI time tgt with You!
for it's cus of You we come..

2011-04-07T22:37:00.000+08:00

I realised i've been going to the toilet several times a day ever since i became a relief teacher. i blame it on the fact that i keep drinking water to hydrate myself and to prevent my throat from getting too dry. but this method is going to make me become a water tank soon. lol!!

that aside.... there are some perks about being a relief teacher.. I FINALLY GET A CHANCE TO START RESEARCHING ABOUT HISTORY! plus i went to the school's library and got BOOKS!! about world history... china history... i should start on Europe history soon, since im also teaching 3N which covers WW1 leading up to WW2... i wanna learn i wanna learn i wanna learn!

It's as though my mind's suddenly clicked! like a bottomless pit ready to be filled with knowledge about the past. A perm teacher (gosh this reminds me of how my son thought a perm teacher is a teacher with perm hair.. =S) asked me why i like history.. hmm...

Why? i don't really know... i love the stories in history.. and i love SBQ... analysing the sources (sometimes i find that the sources give a more indepth understanding of certain events)... It's not much of applying lessons learnt in the past to the present or future. but being able to see how amazing people in ancient are already able to create something so magnificent like the pyramids of exact measurement amazes me and i want to find out more. Perhaps it's also due to the bible's stories ... i want to find out where events happened.. the context etc etc.. it's so much to learn.. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN!

anyway.. on the hindsight.. today was the first time i scolded a class.. though it wasn't a class that i was teaching. it's because that class was making such a ruckus while my class was having a test, that i went out and gave them a trashing.

see i can be fierce de ok!

lol.. sigh.. even after the perks of being a teacher excites me.. i can't help but feel that it's more work than in Palio.. it's the third time i fell asleep in front of the computer within these two weeks.. and i've still many ppt slides not done, events not planned finished, plus Lifecon is coming up really soon and practices are getting quite intense.

well, at least i got a break on Tuesday, going out with Ivan to watch "HOP" at marina.. haha.. and had SASHIMI BUFFET!!!!!! salmon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D =D =D =D =D =D =D....

busy i may be, i can never be as busy as You.
You, who are ever omnipresent, so amazing so divine.
i place my trust in You..
in You i find rest...

2011-04-04T23:57:00.009+08:00

Another late night doing powerpoint presentations for my classes as i felt the school's ppt wasn't substantial enough.

Thank You for the rest..
I wanna overcome Tuesday's lessons with You..

2011-04-04T11:01:00.002+08:00

not that it's anything bad happening.. it just very tiring the past week...

Monday, 28th Mar was the last day at Palio, or so.. haha.. until June. It was fun too! hoping to see them again soon!

Tuesday, 29th Mar was training for relief teaching! it was okay.. haha decided to let the kids call me "miss Pearl"... haha.. sounds nice! =P.. went to meet Elissa to go Bras Basah Tecman to buy some leadership books. Spent quite a while there too! haha.. oh, and we met Yvonne for dinner! ate at "the soup spoon"... haha.

Wednesday, 30th Mar again was training, sat in for some lessons. was quite tired already because i went out almost the whole day Tuesday.. haha.. went to get a book for Matthew at cck library before heading to church for prayer meeting and after that Elissa and i went to watch "sucker punch"! Stupid internet made me run for nothing. It stated that the movie started at 9.20pm, so we had to rush.. but when we reached the cinema, they told me 9.45pm... =S.. anyway, it is mind-blowing i must say.. but quite a dark movie.. hm.... late night movies the cinema is quite empty except for a few couples.. haha Elissa and i felt so weird!! plus i was marking papers in the cinema too!!! lol..

Thursday, 31st Mar.. TIRED!! i literally slept while waiting for the IT person to help me with the laptop. haha, after school rushed off to meet Elissa and go NUH together, visit one of our friends who was hospitalised. i'm like a zombie already. But it was the first time i came and teach a class! yay! the kids were rowdy, but cute and nice.. haha!

Friday, 1st April.. WHEW!! the kids didn't play any prank on me.. THANK GOD! haha.. so i stayed back for a while to finish some ppt slides, and went off to COR. Dance practice!!!!! Received surprising but pleasant news from Efrata.. haha..

Saturday, 2nd April.. woke up early to go to school to meet mdm Tang for extra teaching course.. haha.. i shall call it that. lol.. seriously, i was half sleeping while i marked a few papers... Milo perked me up a little but i still wanted to go sleep. DI was great though! Angels undercover!!! hehe.. yes and it's yvonne's fault again that i stayed up till 3+ am to finish her present.. LOLOLOL!! what am i going to do when she is gone for 1 mth!!! lol.. take care there Yvonne!!!!

I was so guilty too.. i had literally forgotten i was suppose to meet Christopher for dinner at JP. plus i misplaced my phone in my dad's car, so i was uncontactable! so sorry Chris!!!! it totally slipped off my mind!!!

Sunday, 3rd April.. 6am i was up! Eunice, Elissa and i went to the airport to send off Yvonne! yayayayay! (All Yvonne's fault.. make me wake up so early.. haha!).. went to church and slept a while before service started. My mind was switched on and off, but thank God He kept me awake the entire service. We went clementi mall.. and.. GUESS WHAT I SAW....

PAPER MARKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes dears... PAPER MARKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's totally totally not a dream.. but it's my dream come true!!!!! i get to like come here almost every other weekend!!! whooo hooo!!!!! =D =D =D =D =D!

haha, after lunch went to meet up with Steven, KaiLun, Timothy, Sean, Janice, Carolyn while waiting for YueSeng. lol.. odd group though it was, it was rather fun to be with them. Sean Janice and Carolyn had to go off, but Mirabelle and Kennis came! lol.. we went to Jurong Regional Library together and i found LOTS AND LOTS of History books!!! "not for loan" though.. =(!!!!!

Ate dinner at the library too! love the sandwich.. haha.. came back home and did work till i fell asleep before the computer again. SECOND TIME THIS WEEK!! gosh... im tired....

see this? yes... I WANT TO SLEEP. im guessing that i'm still trying to adapt to the lifestyle of waking up at 6am again. Furthermore, i had a busy week last week. hoping that this week won't be as tiring as the previous one.

(side note.. i realised today's photos are human-based.. hmmm)
Teaching is tough... I'm already losing my voice the first lesson. i need my voice!!! don't wanna fall ill.... but it feels as though a sudden wave coming over me, drowning me in lots of stuff. Still taking time to get used to it.. Relying on God!!!!

Everlasting Father,
faithful till the end..
You never let go of me.
Holding me firmly
as we go through the torrent of waves.

2011-03-27T23:30:00.039+08:00

I'm still far from the goal. It's as though i'm at the starting point still, not moving my feet at all. Do you get the feeling sometimes you don't wanna move, that you are happy staying as where you are now? Yet we have to keep moving forward and onwards to the future. "people are itching to hear what they want to hear, not what they need to hear." how true.

I've gotten a new job as a relief teacher back at my secondary school! i will miss working at Palio and the friends i've made there, but i do look forward to teaching as well. =) I just went shopping at JP with Elissa, Lynette, YueMun and YouFu and got my teacher's outfit! lol.. BEWARE STUDENTS.. HERE I COME! muahahaha.. jkjk.....

It really does need time. what you do with your time is really important. to invest in other people's lives, or to wallow in your misery. to miss someone, or to be close to someone. to play games, or to watch dramas. to spend quality time with my Father in Heaven. the last is so precious and important to me.

not progressing, not growing.
falling behind, it's time to stop.
feelings away, You never change.
wanting to do much more for Your kingdom.
not by my strength, but by Yours.

2011-03-24T00:48:00.000+08:00

my off day today was rather relaxing.. sat at my balcony talking to my colleague on the phone for a while. thought about stuff that had happened the past few days.

Knowing somehow you wouldn't be able to avoid it sooner or later, yet the feeling of dread to confront still lingers. Is this what it means when the flesh and the spirit are at war with each other? yet somehow somewhere, i was reminded...

God will make a way... when there seems to be no way...

being a peacemaker when i myself don't feel it is hard..
but above what i feel, i know.
i act upon what i know, not how i feel.
only time can truly let the heart be at peace..
this i pray..
in You, i feel strong.
we are the bridge...

2011-03-21T23:02:00.001+08:00

"I have sacrificed...
I have given...
i have done so much...
why do i deserve such treatment?"

R.O.P.B.

face to face
not a drop fell.....
hidden behind
a flood came....

If You gave me a chance to open up,
I'm sorry i kept quiet.
If i had spoken, hurtful words might just come out.
I really don't want to face this.
i don't wanna remember..

2011-03-20T23:38:00.000+08:00

we went rollerblading on Saturday for DI!!!! super fun as it had been a long while since i last rollerbladed! i want a pair of skates now! (lol, in addition to my bicycle, which i bet my parents would never ever get it... sigh...)

haha i even became a teacher! lol.. rollerblading!!!! next time Sophia must go rollerblading!!! woohoo!!

It also serves as a distraction i guess, after a hard and difficult Friday.

What's it like when two people you care about quarreled when you have not seen them for quite a while? It's horrible.
What's it like when on that same day, you had a rough day at work?
It's rock bottom horrible.

i need patience right?

2011-03-16T23:52:00.000+08:00

Finding a quiet corner all to myself is quite difficult to find here in Singapore. I'm not sure... hmm..

At least, i'm alive...

Nothing can be compared to their sufferings right?
as You ache for them, so does mine.
i don't understand why, but it hurts...

2011-03-15T23:26:00.058+08:00

It's been almost a week. I've been MIA since friday till Sunday. few updates should be at hand.

Thursday, 10th March..
went out with Elissa and Yvonne at Vivocity to eat dinner after work! haha. we went to "the soup spoon"! and ate desserts at "secret recipe" where i started to get crazy. haha! we walked around a bit and found this cute playground where we got even more retarded! Elissa and i tried to sit the two of us into one of the chair-like thingys, and we couldn't! i just kept laughing.. haha!!

Friday till Sunday morning we had SFC live concert prep camp! Practices were great, just draining. and i had fun with the games too! Perhaps i was feeling a little out of place because my SFC batch nearly everyone didn't come, and the SFC JC1 batch seemed a closed, but i guess it just takes time. =) the dance is finally coming along great. =)

I guess im beginning to feel lost in the meaning of the word dance to God and to myself. what it means to be worshipping God through dance. and what it means to make the dance look nice, and what it means to give the dance everything i have. what MeiTing said on the second day left me pondering over it alot. R.O.P.B....

Anyway, Sunday afternoon i came home only to find myself going out again to NUS open house! which was quite fun, eventhough i went by myself.. lol.. met HuiQing they all before meeting up with my jie and junhoong to eat "daily Scoop".. haha.. i KO-ed at night...

and it was the first time ever i felt so lethargic at work ytd. i guess i'm still trying to recover from the tiredness from camp.

Do u ever feel caged, but it isn't the feeling of not being free, but rather closed in?

Father, would You allow me to be willful this once?
I seek not direction nor judgement.
it's just..
performance and duty are chaining...
help me overcome... Please..

2011-03-09T13:01:00.000+08:00

I've gotten my results! it was a little disappointing because i knew i underperformed, especially for Maths. But God's ways are higher! I'm still grateful i passed my GP! Funny how i remembered crying over a 19/30 maths test in secondary 2 (cus im supposed to be good at maths), but not crying over a C for Maths in A Level. haha.

Now its the time where most people in my year are frustrated about. choosing the university courses.

lol.. it sounds ironic because it seems as though we humans control our lives decision, yet it is God who has the ultimate control. But it's not saying since God's in control, we don't have to do anything. faith and works come together. i would say it's working together with God down the road of life.

I just went out with Candice and Pearlyn yesterday after dance prac! we went to watch "I am number 4" at Vivo. lol.. we had to sneak in our dinner as the show was around dinner time and Pearlyn had to go off after the movie.. haha.. my sashimi rice bowl is scent-less, yet it draws attention.. because no one uses chopticks to eat pop corn right?

Anyway, "I am number 4" is quite a cool movie to watch. There are some loopholes here and there, but overall it's fine. Candice and I were arguing if there would be a sequel to it, and i checked on my iphone yep there is! "the power of Six" coming out in August 2011. haha, if i were to have the same power as number 4, i wish mine would look like this.. instead of just a shining blue light emitting from my palm.

yep, Life goes on! Really, i don't know where God is leading me to. but i'm thoroughly excited. I'm still working at USS, but it was the first night on monday that i got to take orders! SCARY... my first customers were like so demanding.. good experience though!

finding the right words to say now seems impossible.
contented.
God, You filled me with joy, and hope everyday.

2011-03-03T23:58:00.054+08:00

It's been more than a week! miss me? i miss my voice and my throat!! =) A level results are coming out tomorrow. ask me how i am feeling.. hmm... how do i put it. i feel... nothing. i bet most of my friends will be like the cloud when i give my answer. Probably they'll say like,"aiya, it's because you'll get fairly good results mah!". I'm not going to go into the "what if that doesn't happen" part, because i don't know the future, but God has my future in His hands. somehow, eventhough it's important to my parents and my future studies, it doesn't strike as much significance to me as it should.

Then i suddenly realised that it's not that i'm ignoring the importance of As, it's that my belief in God who is my provider and guide to lead me through my life is stronger. As do not dictate my path in life, God does.

i well remember a while back last year i prayed for a miracle, for all subjects to have an A. Because if that were to happen, it'll be by God's grace and not by me. You know, even if it doesn't happen, it's not going to dampen my faith in God. God's ways are always higher. =)

I fell sick during the week, and lazy me decided to take bus to church for prayer meeting. 188 goes to many of the places i've been before - my sec sch, some usual hang out places, my old house etc. that's when i asked God,"how have i changed?" It'll be wonderful if we could all just go back to being kids without worry, that's a popular saying. Yet life itself is something so precious each stage of our life God offers us something new to experience. which is why i want to keep looking forward to each day.

Lord, i wrote in my new year resolution,
to change my habit of not replying ppl.
I want my loved ones to know i'm there for them.
Just the same as for tml.
use me to be Your light.

2011-02-23T23:08:00.001+08:00

i suppose i should update a little...
Thursday 17th Feb, was great because i went out with Candice and Pearlyn at PS before heading over to USS to ride "battle star Galactica"! it's really really really really fun! it's a die die must try!!! We rode Cylon 4 times and human 2 times! woohoo!! all the drops and the upside down turns.. WOW!!! haha Candice was apprehensive at first, but we all agreed it got addictive! some even went 10 times straight! i would love to do that.. haha but time wouldn't allow.. haha..

Friday 18th Feb was auditions for Live Con 2011. i went to audition people. though i felt ill prepared, the Lord Almighty gave me the grace to pull through! i'm not sure how i felt about being part of Live Concert again. There's the excited and honored part, but more than that there's something else that i can't quite pen down the words to describe it.

Saturday 19th Feb was DI!!! i missed sophia alot.. i remember being in Hokkaido in the bus on the previous saturday thinking what was yvonne doing, and imagining DI celebrating DI's birthday.. haha.. glad to be back!!!

Sunday 20th Feb after church went to meet Xiang An and Chris at city hall.. went to eat Ramen? haha the ramen is GOOD!! i love the soup! XiangAn was on about the pretty girls at maid cafe.. but well, it's his birthday he can do whatever he wants.. I SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE UP THE BUS WITH HIM HOME.. bully me!!!!

Monday 21st Feb i went for the admin interview! it was alright i guess (i got rejected in the end.. lol).. haha first practice for live con we did alot of talking.. haha.. but it was cool!!! Glad to have Amelia to help brush up the dance steps!

Tuesday 22nd Feb i'm back to work! i actually miss working in Palio! haha.. though i kinda did OT.. and i got ice chocolate which is SUPERB!!!

today started bad... i woke up late because i KO-ed last night due to OT.. then i missed my interview with another company. so the agent called to arrange another one in the afternoon. as i took a cab, he called again for a later time (by then i was quite dishearten to continue with the interview cus i doubt the people would accept me). so i told the driver to stop at Bukit Batok Driving Centre.. tot i could at least enrol into driving. GUESS WHAT.. they say must have my IC, not student pass. =.='''

i know it isn't their fault, it's the normal procedure. but at that point in time i was already fed up at myself, the interview, the cab fare.. that i really wanted to start arguing with the counter lady about why can't my student pass be used. off course i didn't, i just walked away.. after that i sms-ed the agent saying that i don't mind not going for the interview.. then the agent said that he did so many arrangement in the morning then i just say i give up cannot! at that moment i just.. ARGH...

so i was walking to Bukit Gombak station.. walking walking.. grumbling to myself.. wanting to be mad at other people but couldn't so ended up being mad at myself. then i realised it's not how God would want me to REACT to the situation. remember how we saw we focus our eyes on God and not on the circumstance? yep.. i realised i was thinking about myself. not about others, not about God. i guess it was at that instant that changed my perspective and mood. It's as though God's telling me so what? My peace I've given, My love I've showered, My wisdom I've bestowed.. it's your choice..

sure there were times that tempted me to get fed up and walk away (like how the agent didn't send me the direction n i had to use my half dying phone to figure out, or how a security guard scolded me for finding the wrong company, or how my tummy grumbled at an empty stomach at 1pm, or how it started pouring), but God above everything else.

the interview went fine.. so after that i walked around Clementi.. bought Koi and some apple juice drink to quench my thirst as i didn't bring my waterbottle and waited for prayer meeting to start. thinking im being a water tank soon. haha..

Sometimes whenever we feel angry at something, most of the time it involves losing our rights isn't it? Yet when we take our eyes off our own benefits, our own gains at the matter and at the big picture, to give a thought for the other parties, somehow you realise that it really isn't that big an issue to make a fuss over. Perhaps that's why God says not to put our treasures in the things of the world, but of heaven.

God, i'm not perfect..
But You are still guiding me through.
Let not the devil gain a foothold on me.
in You i trust, and i choose to obey.

2011-02-17T23:28:00.000+08:00

Hokkaido trip!

ok, so here's how i'm going to do it. each day will be a post itself. that way i won't need to cramp all photos together! =D

Thursday, 10th Feb

Friday, 11th Feb

Saturday, 12th Feb

Sunday, 13th Feb

Monday, 14th Feb

Tuesday, 15th Feb

2011-02-17T22:16:00.005+08:00

Thursday, 10th Feb..

We reached Haneda, Tokyo in the morning, which from Haneda we have to take a domestic flight to Hakodate. We roamed around a bit.. haha and i saw ALOT OF SALMON! DIFFERENT TYPES!!

this is salmon roll!! there's smoked salmon the length of my entire arm, and rocky salmon!!! lol so funny!

yep so after nearly half a day's journey.. we reached Hakodate!!!! it was snowing already!!!! and REALLY COLD...

we set off straight for lunch!!!! lunch was interesting, because i learnt how to cook my own udon like those hawker centre stalls!

Hakodate is actually famous for this dish, Genghis Khah. some sort of assorted fried rice. it's yummy too!

Straight after lunch we went to Goryokaku Tower, which overlooks the Goryokaku Fort. it's in the shape of a pentagonal star!! basically the history of this fort is that when Japan finally opened its doors to "foreign" trade, they wanted to preserve their culture still and build a fort to fend of the "enemies". Eventually, this fort wasn't used to defend from outside enemies, but internal strife - Hakodate war. It's significant because it was then that the Meiji era ended too.

compare this

to the one during winter...

They say it's really beautiful when the cherry blossoms come out, as it is said that the fort holds abt 1600 cherry trees!! google it if u want!

After that we went to this place called "Kanemori red brick warehouse" which holds many many small stalls. it's something like far east plaza, except they sell more stuff, instead of just fashion only.

Snaffles mini cheesecake is the best cheesecake i've ever eaten. Even those japanese cheesecake that's soft and tasty in Singapore cannot.. i repeat, CANNOT be compared to the savory taste of the cheesecake!! it literally melts in your mouth!!! texture is sooo soft!!!! it's a die die must try if you ever go Hakodate!!!!

ok, so we moved on to Hakodate ropeway, which we had to get into a cable car and ascend Mt Hakodate! we couldn't stay to see the night view, but the evening view is great still! just tt i'm still not familiar with Jie's dsl camera.. so.. the best i could take is this..

finally, after a long day, we reached our first hotel!!! guess what. my parents asked, "where's the bedroom?" i totally rolled my eyes. haha!! it's traditional kind of Japan inn where they lay the mattress out on the floor!!! Perhaps it's because i watch too much anime.. that's why i know.. hahaha!

Dinner was WOAH... we came to a banquet like hall, and had a buffet dinner, with fresh seafood served! Salmon sashimi!!! their salads are delicious, because their veggies are sweet!

lol, i'm totally pampered... haha! and you know what? i went for ON-SEN!! which is hot-spring! ok, you Singaporeans. here's some lessons for you. Japanese people when they go for hot-spring, they go naked. LIKE TOTALLY NAKED. like what my guide said,"chay, what you have they also have, just whether big or small only!" lol!!!! but off course mom and i didn't go around looking la! we even went to the outdoor onsen and it snowed!!! as the snow melted on my hand, there was a tingling sensation!! omg! i loved the snow!!

2011-02-17T22:15:00.001+08:00

Friday, 11th Feb...

whheee!! another day in Hokkaido!! after buffet breakfast (milk is NICE!), we headed to Hakodate fish market! where they sell the freshest seafood ever! They are very famous for their squids, apparently.. eventhough i don't eat them... check out the covering for the manhole!

then was some sightseeing! first we came to lake Toya!! i am proud of myself to have taken some good shots of it! might put it up on fb, but for blog, this would do.. do you know it used to be a volcano?? cool!!

we then stopped by Showa Shinzan for lunch. History of it is that the volcano Mt Uzu had actively been erupting, such that the lava accumulated to form "Showa new mountain"- Showa Shinzan. if u see near the left of the mountain, you still can see steam emitting!!

we travelled to Hell Valley, Jigokudani too. It's known for its sulfurous streams and "hellish" landscapes. and gosh, it stinks!!!!!!!

yep, then we travelled 2.5hr to Sapporo! somehow i always fall asleep on the bus. It's like the bus has some sleeping spell on me whenever i'm on it!!! anyway, we had 1hr to shop around Sapporo factory, which used to be the brewery for Sapporo beer, pretty popular in Sapporo. after it's renovation, what's left was only it's tall chimney! might put it up on fb.. haha..

so it coming to night time! and we went to Odori Park for the Sapporo Snow Festival! it's disappointing though, because i didn't see much snow sculptures.. nevertheless, it's still beautiful!

though my photography skills suck.... Jie's dsl camera is hard to use!!!!

pro skiing!!!!

we didn't see much snow, but we did see lots of ice sculptures at the nearby Susukino Ice Festival! i shall put my favorite one here! it's called "aquarium party!" but i just love the intricate details!

we went for dinner at the Ramen Valley! woah, it's cramp to the max!! there are at least 10 Ramen stall along the valley and the pavement is only about 1.5m wide! competition is really intense there.. lol! buttercorn Ramen is something new that i've never tried, and it's delicious! it's really piece of butter!

they say many stars would come to the Ramen Valley, and sign their names. guess what about the handprints? they're SUMO WRESTLERS!!!! HAHA! so cute!

Off course we can't forget about Tanukikojo shopping Arcade, the largest shopping mall! it has 8 blocks altogether, all only ground floor. i had wanted to get my KHR soundtrack!!! but we went to the tourist souvenir shop to get goodies to bring home first.. which led to the shops closing at 8pm, and me not being able to get the soundtrack.. =(!!!

oh well, at least i tried Chu-hi and Sapporo beer! Chu-Hi is a japanese alcoholic drink added with fruit juices! this one(middle) is grape with 4% alcohol content! but, sorry Celine, i couldn't take the bitterness of Sapporo beer.. haha. Choya is something like cocktail, with alcohol content of around 10%, peach flavour!!!!

2011-02-17T22:14:00.001+08:00

Saturday, 12th Feb...

First thing in the morning.. SNOWMOBILE!!! we went to the mountain area called "snow mobile land sapporo" for our 10 minute trial. well, i was a little upset because of their policy, where females aren't allowed to the be drivers, and need to be accompanied by a male. in the end i had to go with an instructor. since i wasn't driving the snowmobile, i was thinking just take photos lo.

Little did i know, the instructor zoomed off the minute he turned on the engine!! i went a different route from the rest of the people! while the rest drove slowly in rounds, the instructor literally had me hugging him for dear life! but it was super fun! he even went to the second course where there's lots of bumps, and i was so afraid i'll drop Jie's camera i quickly placed it back in the bag! i was on the second course when i took this.. see the rest going in circles?!?!

he's very nice though.. haha.. soooo fun!!!!

we head off to white chocolate factory, also known as Shiroi Koibito factory!!! it's like charlie and the chocolate factory, so castle-like! outside, they had a little park with treehouses! here you can even see the clock tower! it's like a mini castle!! i could live there..

inside, we had a great time loking at the history of chocolate making, and indulge ourselves in the Factory walk! the Aurora Fountain is one of the highlights!

i got to camwhore in front of this gigantic European like mirror!

this is a die die must try chocolate drink from White Lovers collection!!!!!!! IT'S INDESCRIBABLY GOOD!

If you were wondering why "white lovers", haha i was baffled too! according to my research, it's said that the name of the chocolate was random, when one day the owner looked up at the sky and white snow started to fall, and he said to himself,"white lovers have come back again..".. lol ..

Otaru Canal was our next stop, and nearby it's where we had our lunch! the canal used to be a busy harbor for many trading, but as the city modernised, Otaru Canal was neglected. According to my guide, it was only by the citizens protests that the government decided to preserve half of the canal and tear down the other half for commercial purposes.

he's really good.. isn't he?

lunch was seafood hotplate again! my salmon sashimi is gone.... =( but still, the seafood is splendid! i ate the scallop sashimi and sea urchin! there were crabs the size from the tip of my right hand to my left shoulder!!!

we proceeded to Otaru Music Box Museum! but before that we had an afternoon tea served in the cafe opposite the main building of the museum! we even get to keep the cups! also, we had delicious cream puffs the size of my stretched palm! yum yum yum!!!

Otaru Music Box Museum is simply dreamy. the tinkling melodies from the boxes can just lift your tired spirits up! like what the pamphlet says," It's nostalgic interiors and wide variety of music boxes make an exquisite harmony of illusion that cannot be appreciated anywhere else." i even bought one for myself!!!!

not much history, just that the buildings the holds these museum is said to be the "wall street of Hokkaido" during Otaru's heyday.

night time was drawing close, so we head to our hotel for dinner! Dinner i ate little eventhough it was buffet and looks alluring, but i was still too full from the snacks.. haha! our hot spring hotel, situated at the bottom of some mountain even had nice view of a lake!!! =D it was freezing cold though.. so i had 4 layers on me!! long john, cashmere shirt, blue jacket, and my pink outer jacket... i'm like a ball...

Irregardless of the weather, we set off for the nearby Sounkyo Ice Fall festival! we saw fireworks!! and it started snowing too!!! lovely!! but extremely cold!!

there were sculptures as well, but they were inside igloos.. haha! and the sculptures all had coins all over them! guessing it's some form of good luck to put them there..

off course there were massive structures such that we even saw icicles!

haha we even got to slide!!!!! lol! there's once the tyre rolled down the slide and i had to chase it down.. so embarrassing!!! lol!!

Anyway, i had so much fun!!! and i even went for on-sen again! no idea why at 42 degrees my skin doesn't look red whereas my mom's turn pink already.. haha.. back at the hotel, i realised Japanese hotel pillows are really hard.. they put plastic beads inside!! i asked our guide about it, and he told us it's to prevent snoring. hmm.......

2011-02-17T22:13:00.001+08:00

Sunday, 13th Feb..

(aka the coldest day ever)

it started snowing! yep so we had sightseeing again! waterfalls of Ryuseinotaki and Ginganotaki falls.. theire frozen though.. mad human jam to take photo, mad weather.. I WAS VERY VERY COLD... u can't even see a good waterfall so what's the point.. sheesh..

we had to travel 2.5hr to Mombetsu (located near the sea), so along the way we stop for toilet! it was snowing so i took the liberty to get this shot! snow snow snow.. la la la! i even got myself a hot chocolate can drink from the vending machine cus i was too cold!

we went to Okhotsk sea ice museum (lunch was the same, hotplate..)! the sea breeze was so strong and chilly!!! once inside we had to undergo another ordeal.. a -20 degrees stimulation room.. it was fun in a sense that a wet handkerchief can be frozen after a few seconds, and bubbles becoming ice.. but i was cold to the bones to be fascinated, i just wanted to get out..

i saw the legendary "ice fairy" too!! they are even smaller than the whole of one of ur nail! the largest only half of ur index finger. but it's soo cute!!! they flap their wings like a fairy!!!

next was Okhotsk Seal centre.... look at the strong wind... i even had to go behind my dad.... i almost got blown away ok...

but the seals are so fat!!! no offense but.. they're fat!!

we were suppose to go onboard the ice-breaker cruise to see drift ice.. but the waves shot 4m high.. so.. we couldn't go. we ended up at the Okhotsk Tower, which i didn't take a photo because of the freezing weather. you can search it up. it's really cool because it's practically half submerged underwater. 7.5 floors below it you'll get to see deep sea creatures, and above the sea it overlooks the port and sea! even saw seagulls flying against the wind!

there was a mini ice festival nearby, so we stopped by! lol!! i love the ice building!!

i even slide!! but it's made up of blocks of ice, so my ride down was rather bumpy.. haha! my hands were numb so i went off to the bus first.. haha!

we went back to the hotel to settle in and went for dinner!! finally salmon sashimi!!!!!! woohoo!! being cut off at the left side is actually paper soup. scrumptious dinner! they even served soft-serve ice-cream with a sweet scallop!

After dinner, my family walked over to a nearby cd shop which i found.. in high hopes to get KHR soundtrack!!! yet as i walked in, i had my doubts... further into the shop i stumbled upon rows and rows of.. porn stuff... woah!! i backtracked!! then asked the shopkeeper, but he didn't have... =(!!!

Anyway, we made our way to the Pachinko building next to our hotel (somehow the night wasn't as cold.. might be because there wasn't any wind). It's some gambling machine thingy that includes small sliver balls instead of money. didn't get the idea but was entertained by our guide and driver and my dad who tried their luck on them.

then it was time for mochi making!!!!!!!! i laughed alot, because we were so funny trying to "hammer" the mochi.. haha!! it requires alot of strength, plus the mallet was so heavy!

yay!! i learnt the way of mochi!!!!

haha the staff there are really nice. despite the cold and freezing weather, they'll always go out and wave to us goodbye de..

2011-02-17T22:12:00.000+08:00

Monday, 14th Feb..

look at the far far far away ski resort!! i'm not going for skiing.. but snowmobiling! more about it later..

Abashiri Prison.. lol, contrasting to the local information booth, our guide said that it used to house political oppositions, made to build railways and buildings stuff.. and not dangerous criminals.

one thing unique about the prison is it's five-radical wing prison, with a central guardpoint like this. imagine long rows of jail cells on the left and right, diagonal left and right. yep! it's like you can see every jail cell in a second!

so finally we had steamboat for a change!! they gave us so many pieces of salmon that this was the first time i couldn't finish them all!!!

snowmobile was next!! wow!! we get 1hr course up the entire landscape! lake and distant mountains could be seen!! it's beautiful with the white glittering snow.

breath-taking!!!!

i even sped off despite them saying to go in single file. haha i wanted to try to make my own new road myself! somehow speeding up a small hill with "wanting to make a new path" in mind wasn't a good idea, because i nearly capsized the snowmobile.. haha.. but it was so fun!!! after the 1hr, i even got to drink hot milk!

well, we proceeded to Lake Mashu next! crater lake that gives birth to a rare algae species that turns into pretty little green balls, marimo!

legend has it that for single ladies, if they were able to see the lake clearly 3 years down the road they would not get married at all. lol, it's a myth la, but quite a cute one.. haha!

dinner at our hotel!! so nice!! the Japanese really take pride in the arrangement of EVERYTHING.. from seats..

to the food! it's really good.. going clockwise, there's fried rice at the left topmost, fruits, hot crabmeat soup, chawanmushi! and 6 side dishes that includes salmon and scallop sashimi, crabmeat salad and other veggies!

After that, we watched fireworks again at lake Akan! it's pretty!!! they even have heart-shape fireworks!! haha maybe it's because of valentine's day.. haha! we went off to Ainu village for a pleasant performance put up by the Ainu people, which displays their way of life and dances. it's nice! the Ainu people are known for their woodcraft, it's really good!

Owl to Japanese has a symbolic meaning. as Owl in Jap is "Fukuro" which means no hardships. so Japanese place owl figurines at home as a wish that their lives would not be so hard. so if the owl is studying like the one in the picture, it means that studying would be a breeze for the child. quite cool eh?

well, since it's valentines, lets end with hearts!!!! haha..

2011-02-17T22:11:00.000+08:00

Tuesday, 15th Feb...

first thing in the morning after breakfast was fishing!! Lake Akan was frozen, so we were able to step on top of it to go fishing! how do they do it? they would dig a small round hole in the ice, set up tents around it for people to go in and fish! look at the hole near my feet!! haha. we even saw diamond dust! which is actually really tiny snow flecks that shines under the sunlight..

i even caught a small smelt (a type of small fish)!! hehe.. we had the chef to tempura cook it for us, and its great! lol.. after that we went up the bus and went to see the crane of Kushiro, the Tancho crane! it's unique because of its red head!

We went to a real japanese restaurant for lunch!!! woah the serving was huge!!! and the restaurant was very small!!!

since we couldn't ride the cruise, we hopped unto a steam locomotive train!!!

since it was only the 3 of us, someone came to share a table with us.. with a huge huge dsl camera.. lol!!

and we are even allowed to go all the way to the front of the train to get a close up at the engine!

dad started to fry cuttlefish with the ancient heat-warmer used in trains!

i dressed up in the Japanese train captain uniform! soo cool!!!

ok, so once the train arrived at the last stop, we hurried off unto the bus to Kushiro airport for a domestic flight to Haneda! at that time it was evening.. awww.. the sunset viewed from the plane...

we reached Haneda airport and said goodbye to our guide before venturing the airport for dinner! yummy!! i had udon FINALLY!!! with salmon wrapped sushi!!!

i found this!!!! Lacus Clyne from Gundam Seed/Gundam Seed destiny!!!!!!!! they were playing the music which could be heard from far and drawn me to it! hehehehe..

well after that was a flight back home!!!! touched down at 6am the next day.. TIRED!!!

2011-02-16T23:48:00.001+08:00

i'm back from Hokkaido! and yes i'm a little disoriented at the moment. Hokkaido's post will come shortly...

i still can't believe im back in Singapore. Eventhough Hokkaido is part of Japan, its culture is quite different from mainland Japan. And it snowed too! I was wrapped like a ball, and still felt cold (my hands and feet mostly). the size of Hokkaido is about 110 Singapore put together, and they have the same number of people! no wonder i don't see much people walking around (i have a feeling it's because of winter and weather).

in short, i love it. Despite the freezing weather (it's -13 degrees!!), i love their way of life, their language, their independence, their FOOD, everything! =)

Timing wise was quite sudden though. i never went on a holiday in Feb before, so it's quite sudden.

Anyway, I'm going out with Candice and Pearlyn tomorrow!! Staff members get to go into USS to take "Galactica" ride for free!!! heheheheheheheh

2011-02-09T18:01:00.000+08:00

I'm flying off at 10pm! Hokkaido here i come!! whhheeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

excited excited excited! but i'll definitely miss Sophia and friends! well guys, don't miss me too much too!!

You know there are two kinds of packing methods. one is organised, prepared WAY BEFOREHAND.. and another is last minute packing.. i'm the second type...

Literally rushing through my stuff, charging my phone etc etc etc... and i realised i have yet to follow up on many things!! Gosh... it doesn't help when my mom keeps nagging too..

well, i'm still going up that plane! haha.. miss u all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-02-04T23:13:00.000+08:00

P.S. long post.. =)

i realised i didn't do this in my previous post..
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

=P.. well, i had my share of bak kwa, so i'm a satisfied girl. haha. i was reading the newspaper this morning when i came across a conflicting letter. i can't remember the exact message, but the author was talking about how she dread chinese new year. It's the visiting that she doesn't like, because she's still a single and often receives criticism behind her back from the "elders" of the extended family. She said she didn't use to dread it when she was younger, perhaps it was due to the receiving of ang baos.

True that my family or my extended family isn't perfect, but i believe what she goes through is inevitable too. After all, we come from different generations. and sometimes we just can't accept things that are different from what we are used to. Isn't it the same for us who are christians? =)

i'm just thankful that my beloved granny is still alive and i got to serve her water (can't give her tea..) today! and played maijong to keep her company!

anyway, i was uploading some pictures from my iphone, and i discovered a number of "work-food" at my workplace that i intended to blog about! haha..

there was this day that the chefs decided to have a "big clean-up"! so they took out opened ice-cream boxes and other stuff to unpack to a new storeroom. somehow they decided to throw those ice-cream away, and thinking that it'll be a waste, we asked the barman, Aston, to do something with them!

He came back with milkshakes! i had a strawberry milkshake while my friend had a chocolate! yum yum!

There was this other day i had salmon, cooked by the chefs!! hehehe.. a delicious supper!

ok, so i was working another night, and they held a company dinner! woah.. i worked till my legs ache! (that was when i only managed to end work at 12am).. but i had lots of treats! Apparently they overcooked for another person.. so........ hehehe..

Chocolate tart with pistachio ice-cream! it's really good!

it was half eaten before i realised i didn't take a picture.. haha.. but the tiramisu is so soft it melts in your mouth!!! LITERALLY!

There were pastas, pizzas, pastries too! no wonder one of the full timers who worked there said this,"You work here, you'll come in skinny skinny, go out fat fat!!!" lol!!

okay, so i didn't go out today, which was surprising to my parents.. =/.. and packed my room from all the presents and extra stuff piling up in my room. seriously, it's really difficult to keep a clean record of having my room tidy.. sheesh..

anyway, i saw the itinerary for our trip to Hokkaido next week! i'm going to start researching on all the places. I believe it's more educational this way, at least i wouldn't go there and come back none the wiser!

Sapporo's snow festival! I'll be there on the 4th day! i hope i see some major snow scrulptures! maybe i'll even snowball my mom.. hehehe!!!

i saw a bonus visit that we get to snowmobile!!!! hahaha!! though i would to do this too!!! SLIDE!!!

ok, before i leave to indulge myself in more Hokkaido-ness, MY BIRTHDAY, PART 2!

26th Jan, Wednesday
Candice and Pearlyn gave me a big surprise in the morning!! they bought my a small chocolate cake and came to Mac where i was helping this guy with an interview (ok, another story.. dun wanna continue further.. *shrugs).. anyway, we went back to my place, where we camwhore-ed!

I was supposed to meet Pearlyn at Far East Plaza at 11am.. haha, i got tricked when they both appeared in the morning!! but anyway, we made our way to far east!!! I bought a new jeans!! plus a horse plushie ring!!! so happy!!!

do miss them alot!! i want to go out again!!! =D 17th Feb!! USS!!!! (staff get to go into USS for free!!! so going to ride the Galactica!)

29th Jan, Saturday
Habib brought me to see his school, SP, dance concert!!! so after cell, i chiong-ed all the way to dover.. haha. the dance concert was really good! i even had some moves memorized, perhaps to use in future! and i created a new move at home too! =D Thanx Habib! it's been so long since i saw dance!!!!

Yep! so that's how i celebrated my 19th birthday this year! the longest ever!!!! haha..

Many thanx!!!! (in order received)
JinHang, for the pair of earrings (sorry i forgot to include in the previous picture! haha.. but this made me laugh, don't worry! i'll find a way to use them... not through earholes though, cus i dun have any! =D)
Jethro, for the happy birthday bear (sorry i forgot to include it too!! hehe)
Candice and Pearlyn, for the beautiful hand-made diary book!!!!!!!
YueMun, for the "stitch-look alike" plushie! is she stitch's girlfriend? haha.. i don't know!
Sophia, Cherie and Charis, for the wonderful scrapbook card!!! with the handy plaster too.. =/ i don't get injured alot!!!

2011-02-02T23:47:00.024+08:00

That's why im having one right now! Thank You God for this break!!!!!!!! hehehehehe...

lol, my granny is here!!! =D!!
now we're taking turns to play maijong! hehehehe.. love my family! thank God for blessing me with my family!

i went to visit my relatives today, and we watched "IP man 2" and "when in Rome"! i was really looking forward to it because.. of.. BAK KWA..

tell me what's Chinese New Year without bak kwa???? it's a seasonal delicacy that is a must have during chinese new year, and you know what? MY MOM REFUSES TO BUY MORE BAK KWA!!!!!!!!!!!! that's why i told myself i must eat loads and loads when i go and visit my relatives.. =D and i really did! but i felt a little embarrassed heheh... BAK KWA is delicious ok!!!!!!!

although i really need to go exercise.. haha.... SWIMMING!!!!

thank You God.. for teaching and moulding me still..
i want to do my best! because i serve You only!

2011-01-30T23:10:00.019+08:00

I'm a little tired. again.
my feet are sore from work.
my pays aren't given. =/
my mind's filled with Sophia, dance, LiveCon dance stuff.
rest.. in God.

Shall post about my birthday part 2 tomorrow. =)

It's meant to be a fresh start.
through it all, You held on to me.
Let me not make the same mistake again.

2011-01-25T23:15:00.003+08:00

P.S. Warning, long post with LOADS of pictures.. haha..

How i spent my birthday!!!!!!!! (PART ONE)

Sunday, 16th Jan...
My family celebrated my birthday at King Louis!!!

really coool!! we even get to see the view of RWS and Universal Studio!

this is the Queen Victoria Feast!!!

chocolate cake as dessert!!! but i couldn't finish it.. hehe..

i like the photo frame!!!!!

Love the place, love the food except the salmon (it's too well done..), love the ambience!!!

Wednesday, 19th Jan..
After the funeral of my granddad, i went to meet Yvonne at JP at night. We went around to search for my slippers, but to no avail! haha, Yvonne treated me to dinner, but i didn't really had any appetite. i ate "Fish & Co"'s mash potato!!! it's really good!!! lololol... It also sells cakes! and Yvonne got me a banana cake which is savory!!!!

In the end we went back to Lot 1 "Mondo" to buy my slippers! hehehehe.. thank you Yvonneeeeyyy!! =D

Thursday, 20th Jan..
I went Marina Bay Sands Skypark with JinHang at night! He treated me to a ticket up!!! it's really eye-opening! but.. FREEZING COLD!!! i don't have the photos with me now.. haha cus i took photos with his camera.. haha.. but thanx JinHang!!!

Friday, 21st Jan!!!
well first.. i cried. because the initial plans screwed up (afternoon with Pearlyn and Candice, night with class for buffet) and i thought being an abandoned birthday girl would have to stay at home in the end. In the end, i messaged Jethro (cus he took leave): if u cared and are free to accompany a being pang seh birthday girl, accompany me to PS.

lol, so we went PS "paper market" to get my free birthday gift! =D then after that we roamed around..

I saw this really cool shop at outram park!! it's costumes and more costumes!! too bad they didn't allow us to take photos inside.

then we went 313!!! cus i've never explored there before!!! haha.. we went to the 4 storeys high "forever 21" but i couldn't find anything nice to buy!!! =S

and we went for dinner at "Pocket full of Posies" Greenhouse cafe!

the photo says it all... SWING!!!!!!!

my nikoni steak pasta!!!! (it's like mince beef..)

Jethro's grilled salmon fillet!!!! i love the mash potato!!

And he surprised me by asking the shop to deliver the cake!! and they played "happy birthday" song in the whole cafe!!!! =O!!!! lol.. Jethro played guitar for me too!!!!! haha..

see the guys behind me? yep! Jethro borrowed the guitar from them!! haha..

came home to cut cake with family!! Strawberry cheesecake!!

happy birthday to me!!!! yay!!!

Saturday, 22nd Jan...
Sophia surprised me la!! i thought the dress code was red shirt with skirt, then i got a shock when everyone wore white with jeans except for me! i thought i didn't get the message la! and they bought bakerzin oral cheesecake for me!!! =D emphasis... 19 CANDLES!!!!!

lol, load them to bits!

thank you sooo soo much!!!!

Sunday, 23rd Jan..
afternoon went to meet Habib and Yusi!!!! we ate at Benten cafe JP!!!! lol!! i love the soup pasta! (photos are up on fb!)

YuSi had to go for her job interview at woodlands, so Habib and i went to accompany her! =D miss them tons!!!!!!! and yes i promise to go out with u 9 more times this year ok YuSi!!! lololol..

after that i rushed down to bugis to meet PHPPS, my pri school, classmates!!! haha we had a good time laughing while we recounted the silly memories in Humility 5 and 6.. haha!! too bad it's only a small group of us!!! load of ppl couldn't make it.. haha but we had fun! love the Lai Lai steamboat!!!! i should bring Sophia there one day!

Monday, 24th Jan..
After work, i was quite tired already.. haha i met YueSeng at Vivocity though! haha.. i had fun pushing my son in a trolley around Vivo!!!! lolol.. but that idea came to me because i was feeling tired and didn't want to walk.. haha!!!

we went to Marches for dinner!!!

it's really cool.. haha.. a homely feeling to it! maybe it's because it's a switzerland restaurant.. hmm.. we weren't allowed to take photos (dunno why), but i sneaked a shot! shh....

they'll pass us a card each, and we'll go around and order food! it's cool!!! but a bit pricely..

swiss rosti!!!

hehehe.. sooo cute the cow!!!!

after Marche, we bought ice-cream!!! haha, and went to the Vivocity's Skypark relaxed.. placed our feet into the water and laid down to watch the night sky! i got to spray him with water too!! muahahaha!

Today, 25th Jan..
i only had time today to "relax" and take time to sieve through my photos... wow.. but i enjoyed my birthday alot!! thanks to everyone who made it special!! (nv had such a prolonged birthday celebrations.. haha!)

birthday present part 1!!! (cus there are still presents that i have not received yet.. haha)

thank you.. ( in order of presents received..)
Yvonne, for the slippers!! it's pretty!!!
Paper Market staff, for the TURQUOISE n hot pink ink pad!!!
Jethro, for the happy birthday bear!! and the surprise on Sunday night! + the scrapbook card!
Jie and JunHoong, for the "more than words" gift vouchers!!!!
HuiKeng, for the card sent via post!!!!! so sweet!
Matthew, for BA GWA (the soft toy pig!) and the "free meal" voucher (lo i'll use it definitely!!)
Sophia, for the vest and big card!! u girls even got HongXia and WeiPing's messages!!! awww!!!
(P.S. i heard Yvonne forgot part 2 of the present.. lol!!)
YueSeng, for the KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(i was totally smiling from ear to ear when i saw it.. haha!!)
Habib, for the music box that plays "somewhere out there" by James Horner!
YuSi, for the "little mermaid" bag tag! and the Diva heart necklace!

and many thanx to ZheZhang, Matthew Wong (church), Ivan (from work), Amaris (who spammed my wall!! lol), Cherie, JiangYin, WeiPing (miss u!!!), LiXia, WeiYun (ahhh meet up meet up!!), Venessa, SweeKun, Bynes, Reuben (didi!!!), Eddile, Jethro, Matthew (mentor), Elissa, YueSeng, Chris Lai, Kenny, Sean who wished me happy birthday on facebook too!!

That's it folks! part two may be coming up!

before i end...

Jethro's surprise on Sunday night!!!

thank You, for blessing me with so many loved ones..
and for creating me, bringing me into this world..
that i may be able to know You, Jesus..

For Part 2, please go to post on 4th Feb!

2011-01-21T01:37:00.000+08:00

I'm 19!
and i'm still young!

I realised every year my birthday it's very different. one year i was sick, the other i had to study for a test, had a surprise from lightstix, another i got scolded and cried. and this year, i'm in mourning.

"on a bright side, your birthday is coming!"
I find that ironic.

well i'll post more later i guess.. my day hasn't started yet!

2011-01-19T23:06:00.015+08:00

Tears flowed.

Sorrow felt.
Prayers said.
Comfort given.

we lift up our prayers to You.
to continue to obey and trust in Your ways.
through it all.

2011-01-15T23:57:00.001+08:00

penning down some thoughts.. i was disturbed, literally. Disturbed in the sense of sadness as well as a little distress. Discussion at burger king left me wondering about many things, which are all getting mixed up in my head.

We say we want to see the world as how God sees it, with compassion and love, not with judgement or think that we are superior than any other human beings. this is true, for we are not worthy to judge, we ourselves are imperfect. However, we are to see the world differently than the how the world perceive itself to be. confusing? maybe.

We were talking about songs and media in burger king. Most of us can agree that songs with meaningful lyrics and appealing music are great to relate to in whichever mood we are in. what of other songs that don't? correct me if i'm wrong, because i do not usually listen to secular songs. but i felt secular songs nowadays are becoming more nonsensical in lyrics and yet we like them because, perhaps of the catchy groove or it's funny or it appeals to us (mostly the love- break up songs)..

Maybe it's just me, but i was very much disturbed after watching the links on fb. i went to look at the lyrics a few of the songs, and well, i didn't really felt good. I think it's because i believe lyrics matters alot to me in a song. if songs like "Fuck you" have to be changed to "Forget you", what's the purpose of creating it in the first place?

to me it shows a few things. first that songs are losing their primary purpose and becoming a tool the media uses to satisfy what the crowd wants to hear. second that it's getting harder, at least for me, to stay surrounded by these. work showed me what money can do, and the environment is really different too. I can't elaborate further, because i can't find the right words to describe it.

Instead of how Gladys put it, i felt that i'm myself with Sophia and DI, but in my workplace, i have to watch what i say and how i behave. It's not acting, but i felt the pressure of people watching my every action.

i want to understand the word real, Lord.
yet i understand that i'm not perfect.
Forgive me if i've been judgmental about the media.
to continue widening my horizons,
but protect me from such torment.
comfort and peace needed,
You provide.
God forever, You always know the bigger picture.
In obedience, i'll trust.

2011-01-14T23:57:00.000+08:00

tiring!!!!!!!!!!!! and i'm going to call this week "injury week" because...

Sunday, i fell down near the sports complex and scratched my left foot.
Tuesday during work i broke a porcelain cup, picked it up, and cut my fourth finger.
Thursday during work i accidentally held the bread that just came out from the oven, and nearly got blisters for it.
Today during work i was moving chairs, and somehow, i ramp-ed my right foot unto one of the legs of the chair, resulting in a blue-black.
in addition, my left wrist hurts like mad!!!!

yvonne: .... WALAO TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL ALREADY RIGHT, STILL INJURED YOURSELF.

hehe.. it's accidental!!!!!!! =( work is so not user-friendly to me.

Perhaps its the sudden rush for many things on my lap, that i can't seem to catch my breath. Work's been tiring my legs out, but i'm starting to cope already. (hey i needed 2 months to get used to travelling to SAJC). or maybe it's also due to the additional time spent on "restaurant city" which i started playing again for no particular reason at all, but it drained away my sleep time. *sheepish smile... hehe..

but yes, i'm wondering how i should manage my time. Jeremy asked me to choreograph a dance for live concert! but i'm thinking twice because i'm not sure if i'm able to fork out the time to commit to it. It's like having too much on my plate!!

At least i got a very cool schedule book at bugis on wednesday!! (met Eunice for lunch first.. hehe..)

Discipline goes hand in hand with resolution right?
help me Lord.
I want to become better for the girls.

P.S. this post is scheduled! Friday i only ended work at 12am!!

2011-01-08T23:52:00.001+08:00

I'm beat. physically.

It's only the second week of work, and i'm literally exhausted. furthermore, i just registered to be a relief teacher. something is crying out to me, and its called,"prioritize"!!!

still, i had fun today during the outing to marina barrage. i actually manage to pull off kite flying! with the help of Derek and my son, off course. and Sophia had a really really great time at "red dot design museum" (which is really really cool! we got Sophia's own keychains as well!!) and visited Lincoln too!

Though i was physically tired, my heart was light. indeed, time spent with the girls and people whom i care about is worth it, regardless of how drained i can be.

Lincoln is really adorable. four months old Lincoln wasn't scared of the camera at all, and he even looked straight at the camera! Like what Bynes said, "he is a special kid"... haha.. photos are GOING to be up on facebook, SOON... lol..

looking at Lincoln, i wonder what will he be like in the future. knowing that our generation is so rebellious, i wonder if he would be the difference. Its funny how we can think about a kid's future when that future is theirs to decide. there's no harm speculating, but ultimately it's their lives. choices we make in our lives are different as well, which makes it all beautiful and enriching as we gather experiences. Indeed, life is a gift from God.

my dad drove me home from Lakeside mrt station after visiting Lincoln. I'm too fatigued to be hyped up for SFC chalet. sorry guys, i really wanted to go.

fell asleep straight until my mom forced me to go shower. and im still on my bed this instant (but i did bath off course). my gran's going to sleep over!!!!!!!!!!! missed her so so very much!

alright, off to bed! hope u guys like my new blogskin!!! now all that's left is my new dp for fb.... another headache...

2011-01-03T02:02:00.000+08:00

it's high time i change my blogskin already.

the new year is here, believe it or not. whatever that happened in 2010 would remain as a memory, and just like what we all agreed with pastor today, let's move on and look forward to the coming year ahead.

Why did i take so long to post, hmm.. i could say i wasn't in the mood, or that i'm tired. But i guess the truth is i didn't know what to pen down. my thoughts are everywhere, and work's been draining me the past week. Getting used to work is hard, given that i had to work OT when i just started out. my schedule's been totally wrecked.

that's what i want, for 2011.

in this point of time,
i take it step by step.
what does it mean
to depend on You,
and not on myself?

2010-12-25T23:55:00.000+08:00

Blessed Christmas everyone! (i wan sushi!!!)

I did a check on why Dec 25th was was chosen for Christmas, and it's quite interesting. Maybe all festivals were chosen on a particular date for a reason too.

Apparently the actual date of the birth of Christ was long forgotten, and the early church selected the winter solstice (day shortest, night longest) to date His birth. and ancient astronomers detected that Dec 25th had a longer day time. following this date, each succeeding day had more day time again. this was interpreted as the promise of "warmth"which will return to earth again.

cool right?

And i checked up on how Santa Claus came about too. i actually realised that Santa Claus used to be a another name for this guy called St Nicholas in 4th century AD, because he was rich and generous enough to give gifts to children. off course, from then on the rest are make believe, to satisfy public curiosity.

If you have noticed by now, you don't see any link between the real meaning of Christmas and Santa Claus right? i tried to check that up, but it wasn't helpful nor to satisfactory. Someone enlighten me!

Actually it doesn't really matter to me how i spend christmas. It doesn't seem all that important the agenda. time spent with loved ones is so precious, yet i seldom have the luxury of it. What to invest in, who to invest upon. hmm...

it's Yvonne's birthday today too! and XinYi's birthday!!! happy birthday girls!!! hehehe... stay CUTE forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-12-24T11:51:00.001+08:00

Who had their christmas tree set up at home? i know my family didn't, because my mom says it's too much of a hassle. Furthermore, jie and i won't really be around at home to help out. =D

True, i think as we grow older, we tend to forget to spend more time with family. Something that i mustn't neglect too.

it ain't right being sick during this festive season. Throat! heal faster!!! It's Christmas eve!!!! Going out later!!!!!!!

2010-12-22T23:32:00.104+08:00

Inside Out, DI camp 2010...

It's different. Definitely different. when we are asked to describe one event that signifies Inside Out camp.. i couldn't think of any. Everything meant something. From being with Sophia in our "banana room" to being with Rambutan in all the games, from early mornings to late nights.. let's use 3 words..

Weary. it's like an internal war where the soldiers have totally lost their purpose of fighting. yet with their last ounce of strength they fight still, not knowing if they are fighting for the right reason or not. they're not courageously fighting, they continue to fight, because they know if they were to stop, they'll stop forever.

I'm being taken out of the safety net and into the ocean. Lord, i ask not for an easy way out, but strengthen my mind and heart to excel through You. my rest is in You.

Lonely. it's the feeling of a big weight weighing down, with no one to share it with. owning something, having sole responsibility.. it's entirely new, entirely vulnerable.

Lord, You want me to change right? You made it inevitable that i can't run away from it now. 5 months... i can't take the easy way out anymore.

in Awe. we look back to how the year has been. it's like we've travelled a long way. though we still have a long way to go, God is right there beside us. He is just, that amazing.

the first step is always an inner change. something stirred, and i never want to forget that feeling. it's time to change..

2010-12-14T23:10:00.102+08:00

warning.. long post..

time does fly... =).. and in just 3 more days.. i'll be away again! this time, it's youth camp!!!!

lets have some updates...
on Thursday, 9th Dec, Pearlyn and Candice came over to my house early afternoon to do our nails! And we were successful!

then we took cab to the studio for our makeup and hair! prom preparations, prom and post prom photos are up in facebook, so i shall just put some of my favorite photos!

i love this alot!!!!

and we all look so model-lish here!

this is exclusive to my blog only! haha, cus during prom we get to have a free studio picture! it's sooo cool! it feels so model like-ish!

and our class photo! but Felicia got cut off a bit, bad photo!!!

and as promised.. my alterations to the dress bought from HongKong!!

- long bottom changed to high low bottom
- long ribbon changed to short ribbon
- jewel designs added to black divider and center of dress

prom was fun i guess. except for the fact that i wasn't really with my class the whole time. got asked by Miss Hon to be a candidate for prom king and queen, which was kinda weird. what happened to the "vote ur prom king and queen" when school hadn't end yet? oh well.. it was quite funny too i guess. they made us advertise some household items, and my partner and i got a roll of kitchen tissue paper. Candice took a video of it, but i dun wanna upload it! so embarrassing! lol..

Post prom was a bummer though. we had to rush to get there, and my feet really hurt.. (it's been quite long since i last wore high heels).. and when we got there, Candice wasn't allowed entry because she didn't bring her ID card to verify she was 18. somehow, with the help of our host Jovel, she got in. =) but when we went out again to take pictures with our friends (inside was DARK..), the security almost caught her. then we decided to just leave.. so we didn't really get to experience what Zouk was like, but i'm just happy to be with my friends. =) we were slacking over at the nearby hotel when i started rampaging about bashing up the security guards for being so "picky" and "mean" to my friend.. hahah! eh! whole day i acted feminine already ok! time to be myself again!

Friday,10th dec..
Pearlyn, Candice stayed over at my place.. and we slept sooo soundly!! haha.. went over for Mac lunch.. then Pearlyn and I borrowed a few books while Candice stoned in the library.. lol!! watched "Eragon" at home till they had to go home.. after that.. not sure what i did.. but i think i fell asleep, cus i was still quite tired!!

Saturday, 11th Dec..
Sophia's craft day!!!! haha we did our pencil cases today! and we're going to bring them for camp!!! which i've prepared my camera to camwhore!!!!!!! "Inside Out" is this year's camp theme! I'm not going to compare this year's camp with that of last year, because i believe the experience may be different, but definitely exciting and fun!

Sunday, 12th Dec - today, 14th Dec...
we had dance retreat! guess where.. ALOHA CHANGI.. this totally brings back memories of SFC camp beginning this year.. and the fear of getting 38 mosquito bites again.. =S...

Retreat was relaxing!! we had games and sharing on Sunday. According to Aunt Catherine, she had to cramp the plans within 3hrs on Sunday as many of the dancers would need to go off. only people staying throughout is Aunt Catherine with her family, Violet, Clara and me! lol...

it was fun! but i think i really became the joker... haha..

first was with the garlic incident, where Pamela, Clara, Violet and i went to Changi village to source for BBQ items. Pamela sent me to get garlic.. which i did! but at the hypermarket.. i saw this purple spice and was wondering if it was onion or garlic. Due to time, i meekly asked the shopkeeper what does garlic look like... hehehe.. and yep.. everyone was shocked that i didn't know... =X!!! at least i do know it now!!!

anyway, BBQ was superb! i got to try out some delicious satay sauce!! =D!! after which Violet, Clara and I got on to cleaning toilets.. haha! we couldn't stand the dirtiness of it.. and somehow, it became cleaning the entire floor of the chalet.. haha! with the help of the maid too.. =)

Next morning we wanted to go to East Coast park to cycle and play with the sand! but bad weather made us change our plans. haha.. went back to the chalet, and i slept!!!

At night, we went to Changi Airport to eat Popeyes.. being with Aunt Catherine and her 5 kids is a truly eyeopening experience. i take my hat off her.. her kids are just so adorable!!! and as i watched them, somehow i can't help but imagine what their thoughts are, while analyzing their personalities as well. they're so honest.. and it makes me wonder how i was like as a child. and deprived of childhood Violet and I decided to join the kids at the airport and hop unto the slide! lol!!!! i even video-ed it down!!

wheew.. really tired the next day.. not sure why too! ate at changi village again! and I tried Milo Dinosaur! nice!! haha.. we were cramped into Aunt Catherine's car.. 3 of us + 5 kids + Susie (the maid).. wow.. Neman sat on my lap while Naomi sat on Violet's lap.. the journey home was rather interesting while i tried to prevent Neman from crushing my chest too hard, watched while Neman had a small fight with Noah for the iphone, controlled myself while Neman fidget alot (i'm very ticklish.. mind you..)..

all in all, i am thankful to those kids. they taught me how valuable childhood is, and yes, though i can't relive those days, it's nice to be able to remember what it was like being a child, where even after a fight u can be best friends again etc etc.

childlike faith, eh?

i'm blessed Lord..
Thank You, for reminding me..
Thank You...

2010-12-08T21:03:00.000+08:00

sometimes we stare at the that is closing, that we don't see the one opening.

When you realised you were wrong, make amendments. dwelling in your mistake doesn't help at all. We all are strong enough to face them, so be brave.

that's what i learnt today.

You're like Peter Pan.
when i walk the plank and jump off myself,
You saved me.
I'm sorry God, for everything..

2010-12-06T02:46:00.019+08:00

someone once told me.."you're alive. now stop putting yourself down because of your regrets."

forgiving comes in threefolds. asking for forgiveness from God n others, forgiving other, forgiving yourself. the first two were emphasized, and what of the last? im not sure if people noticed, but i do feel it growing alot in the people of my generation. the feeling of not being good enough. the feeling of the need to put urself down. the feeling.. of insecurity.

i think this topic ties in alot with the topic about failures. and well, in a society where achievements is highly stressed upon our youths, it gives a subtle connotation that failure is undesirable. so when we fail, what happens? i think that's the part where most of us do not know. thus, we sink even deeper.

We can say alot about how we christians are set free from the bondage of our sins, and that our sins are forgiven. True that we'll still sin in our new selfs, and as long as we repent from it, we are not burdened by guilt anymore. Yet why do i still feel guilty? i realised it today. i didn't apply it to my heart. i didn't believe it. i allowed the devil to plant these thoughts in my head.

come to think about it. it's not about me right? it's about God. so if my life is focused on God, God is the judge, not i.

Longing for You and not the world.
It's You whom i can't live without.
thank You for Your words,
to guard my heart.

it's something i've been thinking about. Something i want to change in myself. =) not with my own strength, but with the strength that is from God.

boy it's 3am.. another late night... but i love today! i mean yesterday! i went raffles city to meet my parents and had a shopping spree! i bought loads of nice stuff from paper market! and managed to exchange my prom heels for two pairs! i was spending too long trying to decide between those 2 pairs that i liked, that my mom just went and got me both.. =/.. but HAPPY!!! we went marina bay sands too! it's a BIG place.. not all the shops are opened yet though. and i went into the casino! haha jkjk, i only saw the inside of the casino from the outside. lol.. but i heard from one of the shopkeepers that the parking fee used to be SHOCKINGLY EXPENSIVE.

he said that when marina bay sands was just newly opened, the parking fee was $8 per hr. this guy (i think he was nuts), parked his car overnight.. and guess what was his parking fees.. $180 ++!!!!!!!!! my jaw dropped... WOW...

P.S. i really believe my son is out to kill me today. either that, or i'm extremely suay today. my arm still hurts ok!!!!!! ggrrrrrrrr... no i think it's just my son...

2010-12-04T22:27:00.000+08:00

i wish this could happen to me sometimes... then Tsuna or Usui can come out!!! Speaking of which, i've yet to start watching KHR!! I was out most of the time.. hehe.. don't worry Tsuna!! just wait a bit longer!

that's what i'm going to do. Don't give up! Guilt blocks us from achieving the goals we are able to achieve, and give us a false perception of ourselves in Christ!

believing that You are our Savior,
believing that You are the only way.
investing is a choice..
without a willing heart, it comes to nought.

Father, i'm terribly tired physically.
though it's because of these few late nights,
please give me rest n sleep tonight
i don't wanna fall asleep tml in church.

2010-11-30T21:26:00.000+08:00

and they say that we have no control over what we dream about. It's somehow amazing, how our brain function, even during our sub-conscious state. Mostly of the time, for me, my brain uses the events that occurred during the day and somehow create a story within my head when i sleep. Ironically, they seem to be logical to us as we float on clouds, fight monsters etc etc, yet it doesn't make sense the moment we wake up. haha, the mysteries of the brain..

i'm in this state of bliss, where it seems that everything has slowed down to my own pace. I need not bother about rushing to study nor to schedule many many things within my day. some people call this slack, i call it rest. It's been so long.. i'm taking my own sweet time to sew up my prom dress, study for bio, preparing for cell time, reading a book on prayer, etc etc.. i'm glad for this week.. =)

finding rest in You..
other than that, i want to persevere on..
until something happens..
I wanna see them saved!

i like doing this sometimes.. haha.. RANDOM!!

2010-11-27T23:39:00.000+08:00

They say its true that journey in life isn't a straight line.. there're twists and turns at every corner, leaving you guessing at what is to come next. Yet, there'll come a point where the road ends, just like our life. That's when eternity begins isn't it?

With so much time i'm having right now, the world's mentality of "living for the present" seems to be sinking in. I guess i'm starting to understand a little better, the superficiality of everything that is in the world today. i hate the fact that there's so many truths fabricated into controversies that belief itself isn't substantial to make clear your point. There can be so many things that appear to be the truth and yet sway your faith..

yet.. Jesus stood firm..

Perhaps this is why Gladys's message on investing in your soul is timely. Right now, i'm still feeding on milk, but i want to grow stronger, and be able to take solid food. (Hebrews 5:13-14)..

i'm at the junction where i need to choose again. I can't remember who said this before, but it goes like "First you need to decide, then you need to follow through. that's the only way to get things done."

i'm stricken..
eventhough You said everything is permissible..
this obsession isn't beneficial right?
i need to stop, but i don't want to.
that's why my heart is in conflict now right?
i dun want to be on the fence, Lord..
give me strength and willingness to say no, God..
You above everything..

i'd love to have this in my room..

2010-11-23T23:55:00.001+08:00

Did ya miss me dear blog? i know i didnt! because i didn't have time to think about blogging at all!!! Well, let me tell you something, i finally get to have a wonderful wonderful sleep! to think i actually tossed and turned and couldn't sleep till 2 plus am on Sunday before my Bio paper 3 and Chem paper 1 yesterday.

As aren't over yet, i've got 9 more days till my last paper.. which off course i'll study, in due time. =D

Hang on, i need to wash my piggy.. funny thing i woke up and felt something stuck in my nose. so the natural thing to do is to take a tissue and dig it out right? i think my nose has slow reaction.. it wasn't until at night then it started bleeding, unto my piggy too!! totally caught my off guard.. =S (P.S. my point is my piggy got stained!!!!! my precious piggggyyyy!!!! If i wash the stain off with soap, it won't smell nice anymore!!! =(...)

anyway, back to my point here..

let's recount.. i took several photos last time with people whom i studied with. thank you all who have stood by me! Especially Yvonne and Habib! I miss Yvonne now though.. =( feel as though i've not spoken to her for a very very very very very long time.

21st Oct! went SP to study with Habib.. he didnt tell me the library is COLD.. i ended up wearing his lab coat, which he lied and said they experimented with bacteria that morning.. =/

and he just had to compare our eraser size... that just proves i use more ok!!!

1st Nov! studied till late with Habib again at SP.. i even attended some of his classes! but i love their Jap food..

Thank you HuiKeng too!! eventhough we only met up once to study, but im really glad!! i wanna go out with you!!!!

I even had encouragement presents! from Gladys a bottle of orange Vitamin C, Essence of Chicken from Eunice, a handmade card from Jethro, and a funny but cute fortune cookie keychain from Habib! thanx!!!

Thank you Pearlyn and Candice too! i'm getting excited tomorrow!!! finally we get to go out without studying and i guess it's my first time discussing about prom with my girlfriends too!! sec sch doesn't count cus i didn't go with my girlfriends, i went with Habib (i dun mean it in a bad way, just tt none of P&G ppl went, and the rest of the girls kinda had their own agenda.. haha).. so im getting excited!!! not the prom part, but the doing things together part!

i'm speaking illogically... haha.. but it's truly a wonderful day today! i went jogging in the morning!! and started preparations to alter the dress my mom bought for me in HK!! i should take a picture of the before and after.. i could get a job as a seamstress!!!

anyway.. 9 more days.. Tsuna.. 9 more days... WAIT FOR ME!!

There seems to be a pile of work to be down during the holidays.. i want to read many many christian books, read finish the bible at least once, brainstorm for cellgroup time, get a job, WATCH KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN, practice dance (not attending classes though, can learn through youtube! Shinee dance is awesome! i wish Rino Nakasone can come Singapore and teach me her Shinee dance choreography!!), improve my scrapbooking skills, learning Jap and korean language, research unto history stuff!! look up at Uni orientations.. WOW..

but..

"Thank You".. two words that seem so simple, yet within in embraces many emotions that even i cannot explain in just a few words. Granted, people use these two words when they receive appraisal or kindness some another, yet these two words are also mumbled when one receives correction, for they know they've learnt and matured through the process. sometimes it is used when you obtained something that you felt you didn't deserve it, it's even used to make a sarcastic remark. but irregardless of the circumstances and reason, "thank you" is still a form of gratitude, two words that i really want to say to someone...

Thank You, Lord...

2010-11-16T22:42:00.000+08:00

is it just me or that As are physically draining for me? i came home today after my paper which ended in the morning, watched a show and fell into a deep sleep until mom spammed phone calls to ask if i wanted dinner. =/.. it was 6.45pm when i woke up.

at least my next paper is on Friday.

People asked how's As. "ok" is the answer. i mean, it's true, at least, for me. It's neither too difficult, nor too easy. Perhaps i'm just not uptight about it like others are. Sure i had my fair share of tears and relief, but the cause wasn't because of As.

Still i thank God for smoothly bringing me through it all, focusing during the exams. Not giving up! 4 more papers! 3 more days!

It's been raining alot these few days, much to my liking. =) feels good being under it, sometimes it suits your mood too. off course it'll be better without other people staring as though you were a nutcase, getting yourself soaking wet and not minding it at all. oh well, at least it was fun.

it's one thing to forgive others,
another to forgive oneself.
running away again, even from You.
stop me Lord.. please..